I broke up with my ex 6 months ago because he cheated on me and yet I still can’t get over him.
Maybe it’s because I never got to tell him how much he hurt me or because the opportunity to be with him again is lost forever. I’m not sure but the pain is still there and the pain is still so real.
He was the first guy I dated and the first person I loved enough to want to spend the rest of my life with him. My love for him was very pure but his was anything but.
I don’t feel I deserved what I got because I was so true, but I hope the pain disappears soon…
I think the hardest part if healing after the breakup with your love is not having any answers as to why or if they hurt as bad you do. We linger on every moment, every thing some else says about them and every feeling we have left. Because it’s all we have left. My ex broke up with me 2 months ago after a little over a year. I held out having any real feelings for him for quite some time until I couldn’t hold it anymore. When I finally allowed myself to feel something I fell hard and then within a few months he tucked his tail between his legs and ran. He had been back and forth a lot during our whole relationship and I always let him go and have his space and he always came back. The total lack of control is overwhelming. I feel like I can’t catch a break from the constant onset of memories and pain. But, I also know that deserve better than to be held onto like a yoyo and treated like child’s blanket, one day you can’t live without it and the next you like your stuffed rabbit better and back again. We deserve better for who we are to them. We all do. Don’t get me wrong everyday is still a struggle to even get out of bed or to breath. He has been good since we broke up and he has been cruel at times as well. I think that’s the only way he knows how to handle it to. I have found that it is very healing to forgive him. When I said that I loved him I meant it, in every sense of the word, I loved and accepted him for who he was and with that being said my love has to extend to forgiving him. Not accepting or justifying his behavior but forgiving him so that I can move on. It might be selfish but I think it’s my turn to be selfish for once. Good luck to everyone who is suffering through this same thing right now and please remember at the end of something like this all we have left is our dignity, self respect and grace. Keep those and you will never regret it.
Hi anybody is there. I had my first breakup. I am suffering from arthritis since 1989 & i am bedridden since 1996. Last year i met a girl from Romania. She loved me very much as i am. I told her to forget me cos life with me will be not easy but she didn’t listen to me. She promise me hell of the things & one day she ditch me for her bf. Now she is living with her bf. It is very hard to digest this fact. Specially when ur bedridden, suffer hugs loss in business & had a heart attack also. Now i know she is living with her bf. All this thing for a patient like is killing. So any body can help me to get out all this problems. So pls do help me. I will be very thank full. If any body wants to write me my email id is buddylovesfriends@yahoo.com or buddylovesfriends@hotmail.com
I have been in a bit similar situation.. I thought my world had come to an end when my husband told he was leaving me. I found great help from one book, which described ways to get over bad feelings created by problems in a relationship / ending of relationship. The idea was that we can “teach” our brain to think in a different, more constructive way during times of crisis, in similar fashion as we can teach our bodies to move in new ways, for example when learning to dance… So instead of being “slave” to my brain and emotions, I can learn to block negative, unwanted feelings related for example to cheating etc before those feelings crush me. I can say that this new attitude literally saved my life..! In the end of that book there was a “Survival package”- section, with tips and instructions of how to live on day-to-day basis first few weeks after emotional crisis like cheating or breakup…. That really helped me, since I was a total wreck after I learned about my husbands affair…. I just could not function.
If you are interested in these things (biological basis of emotions etc), check out this page:
That is a pretty nice website, with all sorts of information on related topics, which can be of interest and helpful for everyone struggling with broken heart and other relationship issues… Lots of warm hugs to everyone!!!!! :)
January 23rd, 2007 at 7:49 am
There are no easy answers to the question of how to mend a broken heart, especially if that broken heart is broken for the first time. As they say:
The First Cut is the Deepest
Dr BLT cover of song by the man formerly known as Cat Stevens:
http://www.drblt.net/music/firstCut2.mp3
April 10th, 2008 at 2:47 am
I broke up with my ex 6 months ago because he cheated on me and yet I still can’t get over him.
Maybe it’s because I never got to tell him how much he hurt me or because the opportunity to be with him again is lost forever. I’m not sure but the pain is still there and the pain is still so real.
He was the first guy I dated and the first person I loved enough to want to spend the rest of my life with him. My love for him was very pure but his was anything but.
I don’t feel I deserved what I got because I was so true, but I hope the pain disappears soon…
April 15th, 2008 at 6:05 am
I think the hardest part if healing after the breakup with your love is not having any answers as to why or if they hurt as bad you do. We linger on every moment, every thing some else says about them and every feeling we have left. Because it’s all we have left. My ex broke up with me 2 months ago after a little over a year. I held out having any real feelings for him for quite some time until I couldn’t hold it anymore. When I finally allowed myself to feel something I fell hard and then within a few months he tucked his tail between his legs and ran. He had been back and forth a lot during our whole relationship and I always let him go and have his space and he always came back. The total lack of control is overwhelming. I feel like I can’t catch a break from the constant onset of memories and pain. But, I also know that deserve better than to be held onto like a yoyo and treated like child’s blanket, one day you can’t live without it and the next you like your stuffed rabbit better and back again. We deserve better for who we are to them. We all do. Don’t get me wrong everyday is still a struggle to even get out of bed or to breath. He has been good since we broke up and he has been cruel at times as well. I think that’s the only way he knows how to handle it to. I have found that it is very healing to forgive him. When I said that I loved him I meant it, in every sense of the word, I loved and accepted him for who he was and with that being said my love has to extend to forgiving him. Not accepting or justifying his behavior but forgiving him so that I can move on. It might be selfish but I think it’s my turn to be selfish for once. Good luck to everyone who is suffering through this same thing right now and please remember at the end of something like this all we have left is our dignity, self respect and grace. Keep those and you will never regret it.
July 5th, 2008 at 3:24 am
Hi anybody is there. I had my first breakup. I am suffering from arthritis since 1989 & i am bedridden since 1996. Last year i met a girl from Romania. She loved me very much as i am. I told her to forget me cos life with me will be not easy but she didn’t listen to me. She promise me hell of the things & one day she ditch me for her bf. Now she is living with her bf. It is very hard to digest this fact. Specially when ur bedridden, suffer hugs loss in business & had a heart attack also. Now i know she is living with her bf. All this thing for a patient like is killing. So any body can help me to get out all this problems. So pls do help me. I will be very thank full. If any body wants to write me my email id is buddylovesfriends@yahoo.com or buddylovesfriends@hotmail.com
September 15th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
I have been in a bit similar situation.. I thought my world had come to an end when my husband told he was leaving me. I found great help from one book, which described ways to get over bad feelings created by problems in a relationship / ending of relationship. The idea was that we can “teach” our brain to think in a different, more constructive way during times of crisis, in similar fashion as we can teach our bodies to move in new ways, for example when learning to dance… So instead of being “slave” to my brain and emotions, I can learn to block negative, unwanted feelings related for example to cheating etc before those feelings crush me. I can say that this new attitude literally saved my life..! In the end of that book there was a “Survival package”- section, with tips and instructions of how to live on day-to-day basis first few weeks after emotional crisis like cheating or breakup…. That really helped me, since I was a total wreck after I learned about my husbands affair…. I just could not function.
If you are interested in these things (biological basis of emotions etc), check out this page:
http://www.searchforbalance.org/
That is a pretty nice website, with all sorts of information on related topics, which can be of interest and helpful for everyone struggling with broken heart and other relationship issues… Lots of warm hugs to everyone!!!!! :)