Matt Mason, author of The Pirate’s Dilemma: How Youth Culture Is Reinventing Capitalism(Amazon) and Jesse Alexander, producer of Heroes and Lost, are producing a new TV show called Pirates Dilemma. The following is a teaser showing how the show might look:

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No flirting, no facial hair, and no mention of alcohol: a former Disney cast member shares life on the ocean blue as the famous Jack Sparrow working in Disneyland’s New Orleans Square.

(Pictured left: Captain Jack Sparrow Uploaded by ankneyd on 27 Apr 07, 8.19PM PDT. CC Some rights reserved.)

Disney wanted us to tone Jack down, so they put us through an acting class to discover reasons why Jack walks and talks the way he does. Obviously he is based on Keith Richards, who’s always messed up, which is why they came up with the class. “Don’t be flirtatious,” they told us. “See women as trouble.” And they said as far as alcohol goes, don’t even mention drinking. But the Pirates of the Caribbean song is all about drinking, and they’re drinking all along the ride. So I eventually broke that rule, because it would have taken me out of character. When parents took pictures, I’d say, “Everyone say ‘rum,’ ” and the parents loved it. The kids would just ask, “What’s rum?”

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Ahoy, it’s International Talk Like a Pirate Day and that swashbuckling sister of mine has posted a photo of her adorable little pirate—I’d deserve to walk the plank if I didn’t mention it.

Arrgh, check out the jolly catch-lights in his eyes.

I’ve been saving this little gem of a video much like a pirate hoarding gold. Today is the day I was planning to link to it and I almost forgot!

Enjoy Pyrats, a swashbuckling animated short from those talented scallywags at Gobelins animation school.

An able-bodied seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns recounting their adventures at sea. Noting the pirate’s peg-leg, hook, and eye patch The seaman asks “So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?”

The pirate replies “We was caught in a monster storm off the cape and a giant wave swept me overboard. Just as they were pullin’ me out a school of sharks appeared and one of ‘em bit me leg off”.

“Blimey!” said the seaman. “What about the hook”?

“Ahhhh…”, mused the pirate, “We were boardin’ a trader ship, pistols blastin’ and swords swingin’ this way and that. In the fracas me hand got chopped off.”

“Blimey!” remarked the seaman. “And how came ye by the eye patch?”

“A seagull droppin’ fell into me eye”, answered the pirate.

“You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?” the sailor asked incredulously.

“Well…” said the pirate; ” it was me first day with the hook.”
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One day, while sailing the seven seas, a look-out spotted a pirate ship, and the crew became frantic.

Captain Bravo bellowed for his red shirt. The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain’s red shirt, and, after donning the shirt, the captain led his crew into battle and defeated the pirates.

Later on, the look-out spotted not one, but two pirate ships. The captain again howled for his red shirt and once again vanquished the pirates.

That evening, all the men sat around on the deck recounting the day’s triumphs, and one of them asked the captain: “Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before each battle?”

The captain replied: “If I am wounded in the attack, my crew won’t notice my bleeding and will continue to fight, unafraid.” All of the men sat in silence and marveled at the courage of their captain.

As dawn came the next morning, the look-out spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirate ships approaching. The rank and file all stared at the captain and waited for his usual request.

Captain Bravo calmly shouted: “Bring me my brown pants!”

September 19th is Talk Like a Pirate Day. Me Hearties, please enjoy this educational video on How to Talk Like a Pirate.

If you ever have to walk the plank, you might want to use some of the swimming tips here. Many of the concepts I’ve learned over the years swimming at the University, but it’s a nice refresher to see them printed here.

Arrr Pirates Passe?

Monday September 19th is Talk Like a Pirate Day. I spent a while in photoshop today creating this vector pirate and ship for the occasion.

Ahoy Lubbers,
For those of you not in the know, today is talk like a pirate day. Hope you arrrrgh having a good one.

While in Disneyland Anna and I took in the pirates twice, once in the theatre and once, of course, in the Disneyland park.

We missed seeing the premiere held right in Disneyland by a couple of days. However there was still such a great atmosphere to see that movie! For one thing most everyone in that theatre is on vacation. They are there to have a good time, and a good time we had! When the movie started the audience responded with applause and cheering, and as each actor made their debut appearance in the show, again the sound of an appreciative audience filled the theatre.

The thing about clapping in a show is—while it may seem really out of place in a place like Lethbridge or Medicine Hat, seeing a movie like Pirates right in Downtown Disney felt like we should applaud, like it would have been rude of us not to show our appreciation. I remember the first time I ever went to a show where the audience clapped was in Manhattan at the biggest theatre in the city. It was the opening night of “Lost in Space” and the crowd there was electric. There’s a pretty good chance that the actors in the movie were there that night because we had just been to the taping of Dave Letterman where Mimi Rogers was on the show promoting this movie, and since it was opening night it would make sense that she would have been with us in that theatre. Anyway despite Lost in Space being a truly horribly crappy movie I’ll always hold a certain fondness for it in my heart because of the memories associated with seeing it in that atmosphere.

Back to Pirates of the Caribbean. The thing to remember about this movie is that its main motivation is a ride that opened in 1967. The storyline does require you to suspend your belief in reality and may result in a disappointment for some but the Disney-ness factor of the movie will win out overall, if you let it. I can’t give my highest recommendation for this movie, because honestly it could have been better, but I by no means give it two thumbs down. I think it’s a pretty good show that deserves at least a Matinée viewing if not a full fledged night time $9.00 US viewing (but I only recommend paying $9 if you are in Downtown Disney). My thumbs are definitely higher than Dads.