Category: bad review revue

Mufasa: The Lion King: “Be prepared for a disappointing prequel.” — Matt Singer, ScreenCrush

The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim: “[Peter Jackson] proves here that if you scrape hard enough at the bottom of any barrel you will eventually damage the integrity of the entire barrel.” — Kevin Mahar, Times (UK).

Nightbitch: “[W]himpers slowly into the night, a fangless could-have-been.” — Tom Meek, Cambridge Day

Venom: The Last Dance: “The third and final episode in the Venom saga issues a third and final reminder that the world never really needed a Venom saga in the first place.” — Leigh Paatsch, Herald Sun (Australia)

Red One: “If this is what Red One is, don’t expect a Red Two.” — Matt Neal, ABC Radio (Australia)

Joker: Folie à Deux: “How dark and depressing is this movie? Let’s put it this way: If ‘Seven’ had musical numbers, it might get to where ‘Joker: Folie à Deux’ has set up shop.” — Sean P. Means, The Movie Cricket

Madame Web: “The real culprit here is the greed manifested by studio suits who keep hawking cheap knockoffs. ‘Madame Web’ feels like a random collection of half-baked ideas thrown into the air and allowed to land, with the cynical assumption that we’ll buy any lazy hack-work that is Spider-Man adjacent. Kill me now.” — Peter Travers, ABC News

Bob Marley: One Love: “If you’ve never heard of Bob Marley before watching the picture, you might know even less about him when the end credits roll.” — Brian Orndorf, Blu-ray.com

Lisa Frankenstein: “Overall, Lisa Frankenstein remains a lifeless genre effort needing a spark of electricity.” — Eric Marchen, Rogers TV

Land of Bad: “Despite solid and brutal action throughout, the longer this goes on, the storytelling choices put one in a land of confusion” — Robert Kojder, Flickering Myth

Players: “Director Trish Sie’s middling and at times mawkish film not only makes us hate the game, but also its players.” — Courtney Howard, Variety

Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom: “What we have is 124 minutes of fish vomit. Fish vomiting is rare, so when it happens, it’s an indication of a fatal condition and time for little Chips to visit SeaWorld by way of the nearest commode.” — MontiLee Stormer, moviereelist.com

Anyone But You: “Anyone But You updates Shakespeare’s classic romance, Much Ado About Nothing, to a brainless romp with fleeting nudity and F-bombs galore. Thankfully, there’s ample chemistry between the gorgeous leads to facilitate the requisite happy ending.” — Julian Roman, MovieWeb

Freud’s Last Session: “Freud’s Last Session is an appointment you can skip.” — Joey Magidson, Awards Radar

Rebel Moon: Part One – A Child of Fire: “Take a Star Wars movie, remove the sense of humor and adventurous fun, and you might have something that looks like the Netflix space opus, ‘Rebel Moon.'” — Russ Simmons, KKFI-FM (Kansas City)

The Boys in the Boat: “The appeal of lads propelled forward through laborious craft is obvious, but The Boys in the Boat fails to do more than skim the surface both literally and metaphorically.” — Jay Horton, Willamette Week

The Expend4bles: “‘The Disposables’ would describe it better.” — Brian Lowry, CNN.com

My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3: “This awkward threequel is one wedding you’ll wish you didn’t RSVP to.” — Fay Watson, Total Film

Retribution: “The only jaw-dropping this thriller induces is yawning.” — M.N. Miller, Hidden Remote

Sound of Freedom: “It’s bizarre, unsettling and yet – in the filmmaking equivalent of turning wine to water – bracingly dull to boot.” — Ed Power, Daily Telegraph (UK)

Golda: “It’s not that insightful into who she was… Generally, it’s just a history of the Yom Kippur War, and it assumes you know a whole lot about it already.” — Andy Klein, FilmWeek (KPCC – NPR Los Angeles)

Meg 2: The Trench: “It’s a relief, after almost two hours of this silliness, to come up for air.” — Brian Viner, Daily Mail (UK)