Categories
Art inspirational

If the Earth Were a Sandwich

I’ve been watching ZeFrank’s The Show for a couple of months now. I think he’s a brilliantly witty guy and I’m amazed at what appears to be the very little effort he seems to exert in coming up with clever and humorous shows on a daily basis.

A couple of weeks ago he discussed the possibility of “making the earth a sandwich” by placing two pieces of bread simultaneously directly opposite each other on the globe. I didn’t even bother investigating the “find the opposite tool” because (I thought) I knew that from here it was all just ocean on the other side of the world.

Now for the good news.

It turns out that near the small town of Manyberries, AB (just a short drive from Lethbridge) there is an area of land that is situated exactly tangent from a small island on the other side of the globe that google has labelled as French Southern & Antarctic Lands.

Do you know what this means?!!! Ladies and gentlemen there is a good chance that I’ll be able to help in MAKING THE EARTH A SANDWICH! I just need to discover who in French Southern & Antarctic Lands reads my website, and then see if they would be willing to lay a piece of bread on the ground at these coordinates: 49.34843 by 69.4363? Both pieces of bread need to be sitting there simultaneously for the sandwich to exist so one of us might have to go out in the dark, which I’m totally willing to do.

Earth Sandwich - Many Berries and French Southern & Antarctic Lands

Is there anybody out there on French Southern & Antarctic Lands? Hello? Anybody?

Categories
life

And In Twenty Minutes I’ll Have Pizza

A short time ago, the bake element in my oven decided it would prefer to experience life as a sparkler rather than as the key component in the “heating up Jeff’s food” process.

An interesting thing happens when good elements go bad. It’s not uncommon for the metal to start shooting fiery sparks in all directions travelling around the whole element or until it snaps apart due to the breakdown of the material. It’s fun to watch but a little scary at the same time especially if no one has warned you that it’s not unusual for old elements to self destruct in such a manner.

Burned out oven element

Ok, here come the boring (but important) life lessons:

  • Always put something under your food — the oven is not a barbecue. I’ve caught room-mates doing this on several occasions. Luckily we’ve so far never had a house fire ensue (maybe that’s why the bottom of the oven looks so bad). There are some exceptions to this rule of course, like the pizza that is currently rising to delicious perfection as I write this—I always say, “they’ve come a long way in frozen pizza technology”.
  • Replacing your old element is easy. Follow these straight-forward directions.
  • Clean your oven before you take pictures and post them on the Internet or the world will think you’re lazy. I’ve chosen not to clean it just to prove a point. Think about how right I am by how apathetic you’re judging me to be.

I guess that’s it. Now I’m off to enjoy some gourmet frozen pizza. Oh and I did clean the oven after I got the old element out—Mr. Muscle you are my hero. I just hope that now my pizza won’t taste like heavy duty oven cleaner.

Categories
economics

The Gapminder World 2006, beta

The Gapminder World 2006, beta is pretty cool. It also makes me a little more aware (maybe even uncomfortably so) of the world around me.

Categories
history humor

Robert Newman History of Oil

I really liked this Google Youtube Video: Robert Newman History of oil. It hits on so many important themes and ideas in such a brilliant way that all I can say is that if you are remotely interested in world politics/economics and history, then this is required watching. It’s also quite funny.

Robert Newman History of Oil

From the description:

Robert Newman gets to grips with the wars and politics of the last hundred years—but rather than adhering to the history we were fed at school, [he] places oil centre stage as the cause of all commotion. This innovative history programme is based around Robert Newman’s stand-up act and supported by resourceful archive sequences and stills with satirical impersonations of historical figures from Mayan priests to Archduke Ferdinand. Quirky details such as a bicycle powered street lamp on the stage brings home the pertinent question of just how we are going to survive when the world’s oil supplies are finally exhausted.

I’ve come to reconsider my stance on these polished conspiracy theory videos—they are thought provoking but I believe if they are not approached with a critical eye, they can be dangerous.

Categories
culture

The Amazing World of Competitive Eating

IFOCE

The International Federation of Competitive Eating or IFOCE supervises and regulates eating contests in their various forms throughout the world and in case you didn’t know it, they claim competitive eating is one of the fastest growing sports in the USA.

“This is our century. The 21st century is the century of competitive eating.”

I’m one of those skinny guys that seems to be able to eat forever, so I wonder how I would compare with these, “pros”?

Check out the IFOCE promo video, and just imagine how well you would compete.

Categories
Miscellaneous

Roomba Hacked into MIDI Instrument That Sucks

In the spirit of “actual doing it”, instead of just saying “wouldn’t it be cool if” some guy took his Roomba vacuum cleaner and hooked it up to his computer where, with a bit of coding know-how he hacked it into a musical instrument. (It’s a vacuum—an instrument that sucks… get it?)

For all the technical stuff see roombahacking.com.

All I want to say is, it’s the year 2006; it’s high time all our appliances were capable of playing lowbrow video game music from the 80’s.

(via Waxy)

Categories
ethics games

Columbine Massacre Video Game

Super Columbine Massacre RPG screenshot

I just finished reading an interesting piece on watercoolergames.org about the Super Columbine Massacre RPG, a video game in which you take the role of Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, the Columbine killers, on that fateful day in the Denver suburb of Littleton. How many people they kill is ultimately up to the player.

Judging from some of the harsh comments and some of the news articles written about the game from journalists that never even bothered to play the game it seems to me that a lot of people can’t comprehend the possibility that a video game could be a potential medium for provoking thought or education. Not that playing the game is a particularly enjoyable endeavour, but as compared with the documentary, the movie, or the multiple number of books written on the subject, why is it assumed that “the game” would automatically be something that condones their behavior whereas these other mediums get a pass?

One commenter had the nerve to go so far as to say,

“If your purpose in this game is to ‘understand’, my question is why do we need to understand? Understanding evil is not important—knowledge is not power. Evil is present and does great harm in our world. A better choice is to empower through ministry that heals. It’s my thought that your game doesn’t minister or provoke healing discussion—rather, it fuels the negative impact, divides people from Truth rather than lead them toward it.”

To me, a comment like this is so out-of-touch that it’s shocking. I can understand that at first appearance the idea of making that fateful day’s events into a game may seem trivilizing, but after having taken a few minutes to try it myself, I can say it allows for an interesting perspective that isn’t exactly possible in other forms.

If you’re not convinced, then I recommend checking out the fascinating interview about the game with a Columbine survivor and another one with the game’s creator which, after reading, may cause you to adjust your preconceived notions about the game.

Categories
technology

Teens Fight Back

Remember the Mosquito anti-teen device that was supposed to deter kids from hanging around by emitting a high pitched sound that only folks under 20 can hear? Well students have turned lemons to lemonaide with the technology. According to a news article from Metro.co.uk students have highjacked the high-frequency sound out of adult hearing range and are using it as a ringtone in a defiant challenge against authority.

From the article:

Schoolchildren have recorded the sound, which they named Teen Buzz, and spread it from phone to phone via text messages and Bluetooth technology.

Now they can receive calls and texts during lessons without teachers having the faintest idea what is going on.

Clever. Here is a clip of the Mosquito Anti-teen device sound and a clip of just the ringtone—or so I’m told because I can’t hear anything.

(via Waxy)

Update: According to BoingBoing, using a 20hz sound as a cell phone ring is not possible. I suppose we are left to assume that the students have just pulled the wool over the teachers’ (and reporters’) collective eyes making them believe that there is something happening which they cannot hear.

Update: It’s now been pointed out that since new phones can play MP3’s and apparently people under 20 can hear the sound on the mp3’s it’s likely not a bogus story.

Categories
life

Learning to Let Go

I had a fantastic weekend. The May long weekend is one of those fickle beasts where anticipation is rarely meted out with actual reward, but I have to say I never would have imagined mine would be so fun.

My kid sister and her husband Glen invited me out to Buck Lake for some fun and adventure with their family. Glen’s brother Jason even picked me up halfway in Calgary so we’d each have someone to chat with on the way up and of course to save a little gas. What a fantastic family. I’m guessing the invitation was due, in no small part, to the fact that I’ve seen better days. Though I might have a thousand people read this website, when it comes to the real world I have been a little bit of a recluse lately. So again, this weekend was a lifesaver.

First thing when we arrived on Saturday morning the boys immediately started to play. It was one game after another, tossing the baseball, a little catch with the football, and then the competitions started. I bet you I can knock over the lawn chair from here, next time make it Ryker’s minuscule plastic chair. Of course the chair was no match for the pig skin.

“Yeah, it was weird, the wind knocked it over and the leg just broke right off”. The grandparents are apparently used to the their sons breaking Ryker’s stuff as Grandma says with a smile, “Oh, sure it did”.

It rained that night as Chris (Glen’s oldest brother) and I finished up the Texas Hold ’em Poker match. I had a pretty big lead, but it was getting late so we went all in blind on one deal and I ended up losing everything. Still that game is extremely fun, and we weren’t playing for money. Seeing the rain pouring down on my little tent—though I’m sure it wouldn’t have been bad once i got in it—I opted to sleep on the floor of the fifth wheel. The next day Jason, Jock, and I took the Quads out through the fresh mud and had a spectacular time. Part of the fun is trying to go through the most impossible rutted up mud traps to see if you can make it. If you can’t, well then that’s what the winch is for and with a little help from the other guys you can pull yourself out of anything. It’s great!

That night the Oilers beat the (not so) Mighty Ducks and afterwards we took the boat out wakeboarding. I have never been wakeboarding in such perfect conditions. The water was like glass and as the sun set it left pink and purple streaks that glided down into the reflection of the lake. I wish I would have had my camera out that night because except for swallowing a few bugs, the mood was absolutely perfect! I even landed a few big jumps across the wake.

Slide I got to spend the next morning playing with the little man, my nephew Ryker, at the park and got a few pictures of him there. It’s so fun to watch what he finds entertaining.

Back in Calgary that evening I met up with one of my old friends from Medicine Hat and we went to dinner together.

Things are really starting to line up for her. We started talking about when we were younger going to church together. She caught me up on what everyone else in the same church age-group was doing with their lives and eventually the conversation turned to reminiscing a little bit about what our Sunday School lessons were like and how even as a kid she realized that I was the only one in class asking the hitting questions and she could see the pain in my eyes when the responses I got weren’t very satisfying.

She also helped me realize something that night which might very well change my life. She pointed out that I’ve had quite a hard time letting things go, whether it be a misunderstanding from junior high or a break-up or whatever. She claimed (ever so kind that she is) that she thinks I’m a genius and on that same note that sometimes my great mind refuses to just forget about things. Obviously I’ve been aware of this my whole life, but something about the conversation just stuck and I began to finally realize that holding onto anger for things whether they happened 20 years ago or just last year was pretty ridiculous. What was I trying to accomplish anyway? It’s high time I let things go; it’s high time I learn not to cling onto things so much; and it is such a burden off my shoulders.

So I’m back home, reclusing as usual, but I feel good. I’ve done all my household chores, the lawn is mowed, the DVD I have been meaning to burn for a friend is done, and it’s got me thinking, why shouldn’t I be happy anyway? After all, every day is a gift, and some days are extra special gifts—like the ones where you go quadding and wakeboarding in the same day. I’m a lucky guy.

Categories
education inspirational

What Will You Do with the Mad in You?

Mr. Rogers before Senator Hearing

In 1969 the US senate held a hearing about funding for the newly developed Corporation for Public Broadcasting. A $20 million endowment was proposed, however President Nixon wanted it cut in half because of the huge amount of spending going on in the Vietnam War. Fred Rogers pleads the case on behalf of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting—thanks to the Internet we can see what happened (required watching):

From the description:

“This is an video clip of the exchange between Mr. Rogers and Senator Pastore, head of the hearing. Senator Pastore starts out very abrasive and by the time Mr. Rogers is done talking, Senator Pastore’s inner child has heard Mr. Rogers and agreed with him. Enjoy.”

Mr. Rogers before a 1969 senator hearing: