Heating up or cooling down? Obsessionism.com graphs NBA teams by their last five years of stats. This appears, at first glance, to be a pretty good indication of how the teams will do this year.
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The Bad Review Revue
Bedtime Stories: “Bedtime Stories is not my cup of tea. Even the saucer. Fairness requires me to report, however, that it may appeal to, as they say, ‘kids of all ages.'” – Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times
The Unborn: “About the only thing here that will haunt your dreams is the film’s final scene, which conveniently portends a sequel, something along the lines of “‘The Born: Jumby’s Revenge’. Now there’s true terror, my friends.” – Glenn Whipp, Los Angeles Times
Bride Wars: “If anyone asks you if you want to see Bride Wars, remember the right answer: I don’t.” – Connie Ogle, Miami Herald
Not Easily Broken: “The movie sinks beneath a great mass of clich’s until the audience has no choice but to wearily raise its hands in surrender.” – Jason Heck, Kansas City Star
Saw V: “It’s not a good sign when watching someone stick their hand into a table saw is easier than listening to them recite dialogue.” – Sam Adams, LOS ANGELES TIMES
Seven Pounds: “It’s like if The Empire Strikes Back opened with Darth Vader taking a paternity test. And once you know “or at least suspect” both what Smith’s cryptic plan is and what the film’s title refers to, there’s little else compelling about this sluggish, self-righteous downer.” – Kevin Williamson, JAM! Movies
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Husband Store
Via email forward:
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 – These Men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 – These Men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
“That’s nice,” she thinks, “but I want more.”
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 – These Men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 – These Men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!”
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 – These Men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 – You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
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Fred Syversen’s 107 Meter Cliff Drop
Fred Syversen skiied off a 107 Meter cliff and set the world record—by accident. He lives to tell about it in this amazing YouTube video.
See also Fred Syversen’s full story.
(via)
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Stuff White People Like
Stuff White People Like glow in the dark t-shirt. Very meta.
(thanks L)
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Play Auditorium
A beautiful physics flash game: Auditorium.
(via Ze Frank)
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Happy New Year
It’s the end of the year! I’ve been feeling a bit under the weather over the holidays but I’ve had a wonderful time visiting my family in Medicine Hat.
I’m looking back over the last year and thinking about some of the things in my life that have changed.
In 2008:
- I learned to play the guitar
- I dropped over a 12 metre (36 foot) waterfall in my kayak (video)
- I got a new computer
- I worked as an animation instructor
- I travelled to Punta Cana, Dominican Republic and Ocho Rios, Jamaica
- I helped organize the Marshall and Sarah Milner Family Reunion
- I finally got around to refinishing my downstairs bathroom (yes, it still needs paint)
- I attended a Bob Dylan concert
- I got a new digital video camera (the Canon HV-30)
Happy new year!
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Evil Christmas Carols
What happens when you play holiday music in a minor key? Evil Christmas Carols:
Hit play or watch Evil Christmas Carols at YouTube.
Happy Holidays everyone!
About 15 years ago, my cousin Mike got a copy of the movie Gizmo! for Christmas. He raved about how hilarious is was, but it was in black and white and released in 1977; I was sceptical.
Gizmo! is a documentary about some of the thousands of inventions that did things we never thought needed doing, or in ways we never considered doing them. A respectful, yet humorous tribute to the inventors whose vision, however far-reaching, was just a little off the mark.
After watching it, our whole family fell in love with it and to this day, my dad still occasionally impersonates Cecil from the first scene. “I don’t know, but I’ll try!”
Here is Gizmo!, embedded for your own viewing enjoyment.
Hit play or watch Gizmo! at YouTube.
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Donkey Auction
A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country, bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00.
The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.”
Kenny replied, “Well then, just give me my money back.”
The farmer said, “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.”
Kenny said, “OK then, just unload the donkey.”
The farmer asked, “What ya gonna do with him?”
Kenny, “I’m going to raffle him off.”
Farmer, “You can’t raffle off a dead donkey!”
Kenny, “Sure I can. Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he is dead.”
A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, “What happened with that dead donkey?”
Kenny, “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898.00.”
Farmer, “Didn’t anyone complain?”
Kenny, “Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.”
(via)