I Hate to Give Primates a Bad Name…

Some degenearate primate saw my lawnmower sitting against the back side of Anna’s house and decided it would be a good idea to steal it. Anna figures it might be the two Indians that routinely prowl the alley “looking for things to pawn”. Personally, I thought at first it might be that guy who was so interested in checking out my new lawnmower. I should never have left it out at her house. I should have taken it home. In fact I would have taken it home except for the fact that I knew that as soon I as I took it home Anna’s yard would need mowing and I even started mowing it yesterday except that I ran out of gas almost immediately. Why do people steal? Just buy your own frickin stuff and if you can’t afford it then get a job you @#$&*! lowlife scumbags.

Tracking Down My Stuff

I called the police and they said I could come down and fill out a report. I called Sears to see if they had a record of my serial number. Of course – they didn’t. They said that their computers don’t have a place to record serial numbers, just model numbers. Luckily enough for me, although I packed the lawnmower box full of junk for spring cleaning, the garbage men have not come around to collect the big stuff yet and so the box was still out there serial number intact. I’m going to fill out a report form at the police station now.

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