I got a new mower.
Above is a picture of me with the new mower on Friday just after I had set it up. I’m barely over the fact that my mower got stolen last year, but I’m pretty happy to have gotten a new one. This one is even better than last year’s model – 6.75 horse power! I haven’t mowed with it yet but when I do the grass isn’t going to know what hit it.
Andy Kaufman – Dead or Alive?
Remember Jim Carrey in “Man on the Moon“? He played the character of performance artist / comedian Andy Kaufman. LA Weekly shares a brief history of Kaufman while simultaneously sparking life to the idea (as portrayed in the film) that Andy might return from the dead. He died on May 16th, 1984 but he had mentioned the idea of faking his own death and returning 20 years later. One week from today marks the 20th anniversary of his “death”, and some people believe he might actually show up that night at the House of Blues show. Whether or not he shows up is anyone’s guess but either way, I have a feeling we’re going to be hearing more about this.
Michael Moore is a big, fat, publicity producing, liar!
I was duped too. Turns out the whole story about Disney recently saying it won’t distribute Moore’s new film, Fahrenheit 9/11, is nothing more than a publicity stunt. He knew all along that they weren’t interested.
“[I]n the CNN interview he said: “Almost a year ago, after we’d started making the film, the chairman of Disney, Michael Eisner, told my agent he was upset Miramax had made the film and he will not distribute it.”
Sparklers + Inside = Fire!
Anna’s mom gave her some sparklers a long time ago but we never ended up using them. She came into the computer room today and asked if it would be ok to light one in the house. I was surprised that she asked me, but she must have doubted something about the idea anyway I told her to go ahead. I said if something bad happens she could always run out the back door and throw it in the dog’s water. Um, about 6 seconds into the burning of the sparkler I suggested she write her name and burn it into her retina. Well the flinging motion of the sparkler caused a bit of hot burning metal to fall onto a piece of paper hanging on the bulletin board and then burned through onto the floor. All Anna could say in surprise was, “Oh no! Something bad DID happen.” We now have a little black mark on the hard wood floor to remind us of the dangers of sparklers.
Jeff Milner Update: Job Interview and Calgary
I went for a job interview at the University this morning. I applied to be a Movie Making Camp Instructor, which will last from June 30th to July 31st. The interview went really well, so I’m pretty sure I have the job – they said they would let me know either way.
In other “Jeff Milner news”, my Iranian roommate is leaving Canada for Iran today. Anna-Maria and I have decided to drive him to the airport in Calgary and to spend the afternoon there hanging out. When I get back I will need to find a new roommate or two. I love aNNA. LOTS. i ALSO LOVE GETTING STUCK IN CAPS BY ACCIDENT. AND PIZZA.
Go Flames Go
I haven’t watched much hockey in my life, but I did watch the Calgary Flames beat the Detroit Redwings last night, 1 – 0. It was a very intense game with the only goal being scored late in the first over time period. I think it might be the only time I’ve watched an NHL game from start to finish. The only other time I’ve ever even really followed the playoffs at all was in 1989 and that was the year the Flames won the Stanley Cup. This past few weeks the Redwings were speculated to be “the team to beat” so hopefully it’ll be all downhill from here for the Flames.
New Media Portfolio
My friend Jason Brackman posted a sweet resume / new media portfolio site. He’s been getting advice and feedback from a bunch of us in New Media and I think you’ll really like his finished page. My favorite is the demo reel.
Cleaning Bathrooms
To the elderly man whom always uses the far stall:
Please understand that if you’re going to use a whole roll of toilet paper every time you take a dump that you are going to need to make a couple of pre-emptive flushes or the toilet is going to continue to flood everytime you use it.
It’s not that I have anything against you or your wasteful habbit of using a lot of toilet paper, it’s just that they don’t pay us enough even if we didn’t have to clean up your corny stool every couple of weeks.
Signed your friendly lifeguard,
Jeff
Cleaning toilets = by far the worst part of my job as a lifeguard.
False Alarm at the Pool
Today at the pool, while I was guarding, a patron that is known for having had a seizure while swimming at our pool a few years ago came into swim. He is a regular at the pool and swims about 80 laps (25 yard laps in this old pool) every time he swims. He has a worker that comes with him just to make sure everything is okay and to help him get around. He was the only swimmer in the pool. After about a half hour of laps while he was in the middle of the pool he suddenly stopped swimming with his face down in the water. It was a little odd because he was vertical to the bottom, but nevertheless he was face down. His aide and I were both alarmed, we both figured he was having some kind of seizure even though it would have been just a “partial” (he wasn’t shaking). He lifted his head up for a moment and I called out to him to see if he would respond but then his head went back under. I leaped into the pool — a pretty good stride entry too I might add, and found myself staring eye to eye with a very confused swimmer. I asked him by name if he was ok. He responded that he was; by the look he gave me I think he wondered if I was. It turned out that he had stopped to look at his water sock that was in the process of falling off. He was standing there face down trying to fix it. He never heard me call to him from the deck. I caused myself a lot of worry for nothing, and got wet too, but in the end I’m really glad it was nothing.
Google Files Long Awaited IPO Plans
For a cool 2.7 billion dollars you too could buy Google. Actually google hasn’t released a price per share but that is the amount of money Google is hoping to raise in its initial public offering which is slated for availability on the stock market in another seven months. The announcement also let the cat out of the bag as to how much money google is actually making (via informationweek.com):
The Mountain View-based company earned $105.6 million, or 41 cents per share, on revenue of $962 million last year. Google got off to a fast start this year, with a first-quarter profit of $64 million, or 24 cents per share–more than doubling its earnings of $25.8 million, or 10 cents per share, at the same time last year.
I’ll bet founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin are having a party tonight, aside from all the profit their company is making they have another $2.7 billion heading their way – They’ve got a lot to be happy about, I know I would be.
If you are interested related information can be found in Google’s SEC Filing. Highlights (as determined by John Battelle):
The letter states, among other things, that 1. We don’t need to do this for the money; 2. We have no plans to run our business to satisfy Wall Street’s need for smooth earnings predictability; 3. We plan to give no earnings guidance, not at least as it’s understood on Wall St.; 4. Don’t ask us to do so, we’ll simply decline the request; 5. We’ll do odd things that you won’ t understand; 6. We will make big bets on things that may not work out; 7. We run the company as a triumvirate, so there will not be clear leadership from one person like most other companies; 8. We bridge the media and tech industries (interesting), which are in flux, so we’ve chosen a two-class stock structure similar to the NYT, WashPost, and NYT that helps us avoid being taken over by those forces; 9. We plan using an auction model, as it feels fairer and we understand auctions from AdWords; 10. Don’t invest in us if this scares you at all, or the price feels too high; 11. Don’t even think about asking us to cut expenses with regard to our employees; 12. We believe in the idea of Don’t Be Evil; 13. It’s evil to pay for placement or inclusion (a swipe at Yahoo); 14. We hope to bridge the digital divide through Gmail type free services and a foundation with at least 1% of profits and equity to help make the world a better place; 17. Betting on Google is a bet on Sergey and Larry (this was said multiple times, making me wonder if there wasn’t some odd future blame being assigned here by the VCs or bankers); 18. This letter is our way of answering the questions we can’t answer in the coming months due to the IPO quiet period.