Categories
humor

You Know You’re Trailer Trash When Joke

Conspiracy theories aside, here is an email I got today. I realize it’s just a silly forward, but it made me laugh.

YOU KNOW YOU’RE TRAILER TRASH WHEN:

  1. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
  2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
  3. You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
  4. You think a woman who is “out of your league” bowls on a different night.
  5. Jack Daniels makes your list of “most admired people.”
  6. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
  7. Someone in your family died right after saying: “Hey watch this.”
  8. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
  9. Your wife’s hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
  10. Your junior prom had a daycare.
  11. You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are: “Gentlemen, start your engines.”
  12. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
  13. The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.
  14. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
  15. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
  16. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
  17. You can’t get married to your sweetheart because there’s a law against it.
  18. You think “loaded dishwasher” means your wife is drunk.
  19. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
  20. Your front porch collapses and kills more than five dogs.
Categories
life

Gas Conspiracy Update

The conspiracy continues. My gas tank is still three quarters full but gas dropped to 25.4 cents yesterday. On top of that Safeway gives 3.5 cents off per litre so all I can say is at least I’m happy that I don’t have to wait in line for cheap gas.

Categories
life

Gas Conspiracy

I think there is a conspiracy going on in Lethbridge. Actually I think it’s all across Southern Alberta. Every time my gas tank is full, the gas stations drop their prices. When it comes time for me to buy — they jack them up like crazy. It’s as if they actually know when I need gas and change their prices just to screw me over.

By the way, it’s Kyoto, not Keyoto. The interesting thing about Kyoto is that, from the sounds of it, you might think it’s a small town or even a medium sized city. This, however, is not the case. Kyoto is in fact a major metropolis. An easy way to remember how to spell Kyoto is to just switch the letters of Tokyo around. Kyoto means number two and I guess that was the deal — Tokyo is number one, Kyoto well it’s number two because it’s just a rearrangement of letters. Also interesting about Kyoto, I think that they sure produce a lot of poisonous gases themselves to be bossing everyone around. But thanks to Kyoto, we now have the Kyoto Accord and now everybody’s got to reduce their emissions. I wish the kid next to me in this computer lab would reduce his emissions. That’s all for me.

Categories
humor

CBC Radio

Nothing funny or amusing to report today. So instead of a funny or even slightly amusing story, I’ll relate the lame pun I heard on CBC Radio last night while driving home to lethbridge:

“[With increasing threats from George W. to Saddam Hussien Canada is left between Iraq and a hard place.]”

Yuk. Yuck.

Categories
life technology

My New Computer

Since I can’t think of anything better to post, I’ve decided to write about my new computer. I purchased a 19 inch monitor but had to take it back. The picture on it was compressed at the top. I got a new monitor — same model (NEC AccuSync 95f) and it has the same problem. Since I live in Lethbridge and the computer store is closed for Canadian Thanksgiving, I’ve decided to let my parents take it back and I will get a new one in Lethbridge.

Update: I wish I would have written the specs — I can hardly remember but I think this had a 1.2mhz AMD processor with 2GB of RAM.

Categories
life travel

Trip to Israel Journal Entry Day 1

Yesterday I left home for my trip to Israel. I am very excited. Mandy picked me up around 4:30 and we arrived in Lethbridge with no problems. Mandy’s grandparents are very excited for us and have shown us video’s of Israel and have been giving lots of travelling advice. I am very excited. We will be leaving Lethbridge at noon by bus. I can’t wait.

Mandy and Jeff

I am now on the bus on my way to Calgary. I was kind of surprised at how old the adults coming on the trip are. They probably are all retired and have waited their whole lives to travel to Israel. I don’t know anyone here except for Mandy and her cousin and I don’t really know her that well. Everyone is excited. I guess the other kids don’t know each other that well either. All the boys sat at the back, the girls in the middle and all the old people up front. I think I will enjoy the plane trip a lot more than the bus ride. The bus ride is so boring. There are some girls just ahead of me telling each other how much they already miss their boyfriends and who is going out with who and other girl stuff like that.

I am now on my descent into Toronto. Nothing can be seen out the window except darkness (which isn’t very exciting). The seatbelt light is on now. Arrival in Toronto at 9:25 local eastern standard time. Toronto is HUGE.

It was very cold outside the airport waiting for our ride to our hotel. The pilot told us that it would be 6° C, but I think it was colder. Toronto seems like a nice place. When we flew in I could see lights going on far over the horizon, until the point where they were so far away they just faded off. The hotel here is very nice, and very big. My roomate Rob Goth seems like a nice guy. We watched T.V. for a while and then talked. He told me that he doesn’t really know anyone on the trip either. I am so tired right now. It is 12:48am (Toronto time) which is only 10:48pm Alberta time but I need to go to sleep, we have to get up at 7:00am tomorrow. I think I will go swimming first thing tomorrow.

Categories
friends

Skiing in the Middle of Nowhere

Created in the summer of 1996, I just discovered, “Skiing in the Middle of Nowhere” on an old hard drive.

Categories
travel

International Junior Art Camp in Japan

It’s March 6, 2012, but I’m writing this here to point out some of the oldest stuff I ever put on the web.

My “International Art Camp” trip to Japan.

Update: My brother scanned all of our family negatives including the photos I took on my trip to Japan. Here they are:

Categories
Art life travel

International Art Camp in Japan

International Art Camp logo - 1993 International Junior Art CampIn Japan - Hokkaido, Japan; August 7-13, 1993

From the program guide we received at the end of our camp:

Greetings

The 1993 International Junior Art Camp, the 7th camp since its inception in 1987, was held in Sapporo and at the Aloha Resort Tomamu in Shimakappu from August 7th through the 13th. This year 56 junior participants and 13 adult escorts from 7 countries; Canada, China, Korea, New Zealand, Singapore, Thailand, and the United States, attended the camp.

The seven-day program was designed to provide an opportunity for junior participants to experience Japanese culture. The program started with Japanese lessons and went on to contain many different activities. Additionally, the junior participants experienced a home stay with a Sapporo family and a camping trip to Tomamu, a main event of the International Junior Art Camp.

The staff was well prepared, so the unseasonably cool summer weather, and even a forecasted typhoon during the Tomamu camp, did not present major problems. It is debatable if the participants were even aware of the projected weather as they ran around the campsite and fully enjoyed the beautiful natural surroundings. Overcoming differences in cultures, languages, and customs, junior participants met new friends from different countries, and deepened their friendships during the stay in Tomamu.


Participants

Country Juniors Escorts
Canada 8 2
China 8 2
Korea 8 1
New Zealand 8 2
Singapore 8 2
Thailand 8 2
U.S.A. 8 2


Over-view of Activities


Activity Date Place Participants
Trip to Mt. Moiwa Japanese lesson Bon festival / dance lesson / Opening ceremony / Summer festival parade Aug. 7 (Sat.) Hokkaido Youth Center Downtown Sapporo Overseas juniors
City tour / Japanese cultural classes Aug. 8 (Sun.) Downtown Sapporo Hokkaido Youth Center Overseas juniors Sapporo students Volunteers
Art school Visit to a factory Aug. 9 (Mon.) Sapporo Art Park Coca-Cola Bottlers Overseas juniors Sapporo students
Meeting with host families Reception party Aug. 9 (Mon.) The Hokkaido Shimbun press Hotel Alpha Sapporo Overseas juniors Host families Escorts People involved with int'l exchanges
Homestay Aug. 9 (Mon.) ~ 10 (Tue.) Host home in and around Sapporo (Greater Sapporo Homestay Association) People involved with int'l exchanges
Camp in Tomamu Aug. 11 (Wed.) ~ 13 (Fri.) Alpha Resort Tomamu in Shimukappu Village Overseas and Hokkaido juniors


Stage Performance

Canadian Participants doing a line dance — Kelly, Kai, Jeff Milner, ... , and Julie Thompson

As a steady drizzle fell outside, a stage performance was held in the Resort Center in which junior participants from each country presented well-known songs and dances from their homeland. Participants from New Zealand presented songs and dances of the Maori; juniors from the United States sang songs in a western film style; Korean participants performed songs and dances in their traditional national costumes; Chinese juniors sang songs; Canadian participants presented cowboy dances; Thai participants danced in beautiful national costumes while holding candles; and those from Singapore presented rhythmical songs and dances. The Resort Center was filled with applause and cheers throughout the Stage Performance.


What we did!

I drove with my family to Calgary and then flew for 8 or 9 hours and landed in Tokyo. We drove to a historic city and by that point I could hardly stay awake. I had been up for over 24 hours. When we finally arrived at our hotel it was dark and I was glad to finally get some sleep. The room was very small and the window looked out into a crowded little alley. The next morning was so cool. I got up and looked around the area. Things look so different the next morning. I took some pictures and then we went touring the city. They have some weird insects there, like a really big green caterpillar. I noticed a few of these on my trip. We toured a place called Kyoto and Osaka. Then two days later we took a bus back to Tokyo and flew up to Sapporo (on the island of Hokkaido). There we meet the other participants and our translator. We stayed for a day and a night in Sapporo doing Japanese arts and crafts and stuff like origami. Then we went for a homestay (basically just to see what Japanese life is like). After two days we met together and took a train and a bus to Tommomu Resort where we camped out and made giant totem poles. (Not real ones but ones made out of huge cardboard tubes, I think the tubes were used to hold carpet at one point.) And that is about the whole trip (summed up a whole lot though).


Looking back on the 7-day Camp

Ryuichi Ito
Advisor, International Junior Art Camp
(professor, Hokkaido University of Education)

Once again the grand natural summer surroundings of Tomamu were blessed by the arrival of 300 teenage artists. This has become one of Hokkaido’s popular summer events, and during this seventh annual camp the participants once again enjoyed and participated in the creation of art. This camp provides a wonderful opportunity for kids from all over the world to come together and experience the world of art. Therefore, the theme of the camp, which changes yearly, has to be a topic which attracts and fascinates the participants.

This years’s theme was the creation of totem poles, a symbolic statue mad by American Indians to protect themselves from evils. All juniors participated in a team to produce a totem pole. They designed, roghed out, and then colored a pole of approximately 4 meters. Each totem pole represented the team’s unique characteristics. It was a wonderful experience to see the 22 tall totem poles standing together in the open spaces and blending in with the background of green mountains. I am sure that if evil spirits were watchhing they would not dare venture near.

I hope the participants will always remember this wonderful summer experience. This year’s Junior Art Camp was yet another successful and enriching experience for all of us.

Categories
family history

John Brewitt Milner

Some history about my great-great grandfather, from an old file I had kicking around on an old hard drive: John Brewitt Milner.

JOHN BREWITT MILNER

John Brewitt Milner was born 27 Jan. 1830 in Gringley, Nottingham, England, the son of John Milner and Ann Johnson. John Milner was a shoemaker from Mattersey, Nottingham, who was christened 8 Jan. 1802. Three children were born to John and Ann. The first, about 1826 was a little daughter who died in infancy. The second born about 1828, a son named George who died as a young man. The third, John Brewitt, was born following the death of his father John, 9 Sept. 1829.

John Brewitt was raised by his mother Ann Johnson Milner with love and understanding. She cared for all his needs as she saw fit and necessary. She was his tutor at first, and later provided other tutors. He responded well and enjoyed reading. He said of himself that he could not remember the time when he couldn’t read.

He has written, “At the age of ten years I had read the Bible through from: the first to the last page completely three times. I attended a Methodist Sunday School from the time I was five years until twelve years old. At the age of thirteen, I heard a Latter-day Saint Elder preach and I knew that his words were true and in accord with the scrip- true. I became fully convinced of the truth of Mormonism and a year later I was baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.” His baptism occurred on 4 Feb. 1844, and one year later his mother accepted the gospel and was baptised 4 Feb. 1845. They both continued to be active in their new found faith and looked forward to the time when it would be advisable to go from their home in England to the new land and be among the people and the leaders in Salt Lake City. Now as far as financial matters were, Ann probably had sufficient funds to make the journey, and true to her training she prepared ahead of time for such a voyage and in the meantime kept her house in order.

Her son also wrote: “At sixteen I was ordained to the Aaronic Priesthood and soon thereafter I was appointed to accompany the Branch President in his visits to the neigh- boring villages to preach the gospel.

JOHN B. MILNER DIES AT PROVO

Deseret Evening News, October 17, 1912, p. 8

Active for many years in civic and religious affairs in Utah County, Provo. Provo, Oct. 17 – John B. Milner, 82 years old, for many years a prom- inent lawyer and active in civic and religious affairs in Utah County, died at the family residence here this morning, at 10 o’clock, of in- firmities incident to old age.

Mr. Milner was born in England and came to Utah in 1850, coming dir- ect to Provo, were he has made his home ever since. He was said to be the oldest member of the Bar Association in Utah. He was teacher of the first public school ever held in Provo, in the Third ward, and all his life was interested in educational affairs. He acted as secretary to President Brigham Young when the president came to Provo and was always ready for any service that might be required at his hands. At one time Mr. Milner was collector of internal revenue and served for a number of terms in the city council of Provo. He had been city attorney, county attorney, county surveyor, justice of the peace, and had been a member for one term of the territorial legislature. While George Q. Cannon was delegate to Congress from Utah, Mr. Milner was in Washington and sometimes acted in a clerical capacity for Mr. Cannon.

He is survived by three sons, three daughters and numerous grandchildren. Funeral arrangements have not yet been made.

JUDGE J.B. MILNER IS LAID TO REST

News Oct. 21, 1912, p. 9

Provo, Oct. 21 – A large assembly of relatives and friends gathered at the tabernacle yesterday at the funeral services of Judge John B. Milner. The Utah County Bar Association attended in a body. Bishop O.H. Berg of the First Ward presided. A biographical sketch of the deceased was read by H. F. Thomas. The speakers were Judge H. F. Thomas, Judge S. R. Thurman, Elder A. J. Evans of Lehi, President Joseph B. Keeler, Elder David John and Bishop Berg. All the speakers testified to the useful life and valuable public services of the departed, his ability as an attorney and in other lines of work, his eloquence as a public speaker, his integrity and love of truth and justice, and his faith in the gospel, which he had embraced as a boy.

Vocal selections were rendered by the Tabernacle Choir. The opening prayer was offered by Elder John S. Boyer, and the benediction by Elder S.S. Jones. The pallbearers were Albert Jones, W.K. Spafford, Joseph S. Berry, James A. Oliver, A.J. Southwick and Roy Passey.

The following committee of the Utah Bar Association were appointed by Judge J.E. Booth Saturday to draft resolu- tions of respect to Judge John B. Milner: J.W.N. Wite- cotton, George J. Packer, A.L. Booth.

From Winter Quarters and across the plains John Milner made the acquaintance of Esther Elizabeth Yardley Thurman, a young widow and her small son Thomas Edward Thurman. She emigrated to Utah in 1852. After living in Salt Lake for a year, she moved to Provo, where she married John B. Milner in 1854 in Salt Lake City, Utah. (March)

Their children were:

  • Benjamin Franklin Milner b. 19 Sep. 1855, Provo
  • John William Seaton Milner b. 8 Nov. 1857, Provo
  • George Brewitt Milner b. 28 Feb. 1861, Provo
  • Sarah Ann Milner b. 29 May 1862, Provo
  • Mary Victoria Milner b. abt. 1864, Provo
  • Lillie Jane Milner b. 4 Mar. 1866, Provo
  • Isabella Yardley Milner b. 17 Oct. 1868, Provo

John Brewitt Milner married 2nd. Catherine Steiner, 1 Apr. 1870, in Salt Lake City. She was born 5 Feb. 188 (error) in Bern, Switzerland, daughter of Johan Steiner and Maria Ysenschmied. Their son Heber Joseph Steiner was born 6 Aug. 1871 in Provo.

He married 3rd, Margaret Penbroke 20 Oct. 1875 in Salt Lake City. She was the daughter of James Earl Pembroke and Sarah Day. No issue.

He married Ann Smith 9 Feb. 1888 in Logan, Cache, Utah. She was born 11 Apr. 1846 in Keithley, Yorkshire, England, daughter of Samuel Smith and Hannah Roper.

Update: From my Dad’s cousin Thomas Milner talking about John Brewitt Milner on a Facebook post:
“John Brewitt owned several papers including the Democrat and in St John’s Arizona, JBM purchased the local Newspaper and renamed it the Apache Chief.

Some years ago Glenn Ray Milner, John Brewitt Milner Great Grandson through George Brewitt Milner, told a story of Grandfather Milner going on a [LDS] mission to Arizona, he was an attorney at the time (John Brewitt Milner I’m referring to) and was defending a Polygamous man.

This story was told to Glen Ray by someone in Arizona and had no documentation, so after pondering the story bothered me so, out I went looking for documentation, and found a historian from St John’s who sent me a photo copy and verified that Grandfather Milner owned the Apache Chief.

James Thomas Jakeman also owned various Newspapers through out Utah.

His wife Ellen Lee Jakeman not only wrote for the Milner owned Democrat, but was active in the Democratic party in the late 1800s I found a new article in that paper were Republicans were accusing the church for putting in all the Democrat leaders because the major portion of church members were Democrats in the late 1800s it made me laugh as I have heard in my lifetime just the opposite. But there it was in Grandfather’s paper.

Both John and Ellen were leaders in the Democratic party and it’s listed in Grandfather’s paper, if I ever get this book you will see these documents.”