When I went out to mow this evening I decided to mow my front lawn first because it was looking like such a jungle compared to all the neighbours that had just mowed yesterday and today. It was lucky that I did because when I got to the back and finished about one quarter of the lawn back there the lawnmower made a bad sound. It was one of those bad sounds that are accompanied by a very bad vibration and the sinking feeling that this particular lawn won’t be mowed tonight. As well the feeling that – “Oh no I’ve just wrecked Anna’s lawnmower!” I guess it’s not such a big deal, she said she was going to give it to me anyway when she moves, but I still felt bad for wrecking it. I shouldn’t feel bad though, because it’s not like it was something that I did, it was just the lawnmower Gods calling their sweet beater of a 3.5 horsepower mower back to whence it came. Now I can go out and get something with a little power, a nice 6 horsepower lawn-devouring machine. I bet you with one of those I could mow my whole lawn a hell of a lot faster than six horses could eat it.
Ants
I have a little ant problem. Actually the ants are little and the problem is big. There are about three anthills in my front lawn (four if you can’t the little one) and they are peeking up so high that if I mow over them the blades rub down on them sending sand and dirt flying everywhere – not to mention ants. It has gotten so bad that I actually mowed around the anthills. I also applied some diametrious earth, which is supposed to be the best way to get rid of ants and other insects and so far so good. They don’t seem very lively now, in fact there isn’t a single ant to be seen.
Andrew Carlssin – the insider trader from the future
I’ve had quite a few people looking for details about Andrew Carlssin, the insider trader from the future. Here is the low down on the future man:
[Collected on the Internet, 2003]
‘TIME-TRAVELER’ BUSTED FOR INSIDER TRADING
Wednesday March 19, 2003
By CHAD KULTGEN
NEW YORK — Federal investigators have arrested an enigmatic Wall Street wiz on insider-trading charges — and incredibly, he claims to be a time-traveler from the year 2256!
Sources at the Security and Exchange Commission confirm that 44-year-old Andrew Carlssin offered the bizarre explanation for his uncanny success in the stock market after being led off in handcuffs on January 28.
“We don’t believe this guy’s story — he’s either a lunatic or a pathological liar,” says an SEC insider.
“But the fact is, with an initial investment of only $800, in two weeks’ time he had a portfolio valued at over $350 million. Every trade he made capitalized on unexpected business developments, which simply can’t be pure luck.
“The only way he could pull it off is with illegal inside information. He’s going to sit in a jail cell on Rikers Island until he agrees to give up his sources.”
[Link to Yahoo article ‘TIME-TRAVELER’ BUSTED FOR INSIDER TRADING]
All I need to tell you about this article is that it originated in the Weekly World News an entertainment tabloid devoted to arousing curiosity and to catering to popular superstitions. They often do so with flashy headlines designed to astonish (e.g. Half-man Half-woman Makes Self Pregnant and no I don’t have a link). Unfortunately, as I have learned the hard way, Yahoo!, a primary news source for many people on the Internet, makes it a habbit of reprinting some Weekly World News articles under the heading of “Entertainment News & Gossip,” a title that to me doesn’t convey a strong “bogus” warning to readers who don’t notice the original source is the Weekly World News or don’t know what the Weekly World News is.
Dispite this article’s shady origins I have noticed it reprinted in a variety of newspaper and magazine sites verbatim and published as a “real” news item. Apparently FBI and US Security officials have been inundated with a rash of inquiries from reporters and journalists seeking to confirm this outrageous story.
The spokesman at the US Security and Exchange Commission in Washington has been asked a lot about the mysterious time traveller.
“This story is pure fantasy. There is no truth in it at all,” he says. “This is the kind of story that belongs in the same file as ‘Elvis Shrine Found on Mars.’
“You know something? We have had an enormous number of calls from the media on this one. It has been absolutely amazing. Of course, we had to look into it, but as far as we know, it’s just not true.”
At FBI Headquarters in Washington, spokesman Bill Carter is also well aware of the story. “I had a call about this yesterday too,” he sighs. “When I think about it, the other call came from Britain too.
“Look,” he continues. “I doubt very much the veracity of the story. I am not aware of any individual who has made 350 million on the stock market with an 800 stake.”
In a follow-up article on 29 April 2003, the Weekly World News reported that mysterious time-traveling Andrew Carlssin had been bailed out by an “unidentified benefactor” who ponied up $1 million, then jumped bail before an April 3 court hearing and disappeared without a trace.
“Still, it takes more than cold, hard facts to curb a worldwide fascination with time travel. After all, it was none other than Albert Einstein who, using little more than high-school maths, discovered in 1905 that travelling at fast speeds actually slows down time. To put the theory to the test, in 1971 scientists Joe Hafele and Richard Keating put highly accurate atomic clocks into aeroplanes and flew them around the world. According to Einstein’s calculations, on their return they should have read 59 nanoseconds slow compared with identical clocks on the ground — they did. Rack up the speed to a much more significant level and who knows where it might take you. Just remember, the truth is out there…”
World’s Toughest Man
Aron Ralston is described as “an avid outdoorsman in exceptional physical condition” who has climbed 49 of Colorado’s highest mountains. And yesterday, he amputated his own arm just below the elbow (CNN.com Story / DenverPost story) when it was pinned under a boulder. Then he rappelled down a canyon and hiked until rescuers found him.
U.S. says Canada [not enough like Nazi Germany for their tastes]
It is reported in a Canada.com story, that comments were made in an annual report on International Terrorism criticizing the Canadian Government for not “spend[ing] enough on policing” and “plac[ing] too much emphasis on civil liberties.” I guess they would prefer us to get rid of the very few laws we have protecting our citizens just as they have destroyed some of the laws that I thought were so dear to the heart of every American with the creation of the Patriot Act. (The Critical Voice Article) I guess my Social 30 teacher was at least partially right stating that Canada’s government could be turned into a dictatorship under the right circumstances, but it turns out that it’s the United States Government that has turned authoritarian.
Update: The links have been taken down. It’s funny how I can keep posts on my blog for a few years, but news agencies feel they need to get rid of old content. Funny strange, not funny – haha.
Volunteer Barbeque
Dad, Mom, and I went to a barbeque tonight held in honour of all the volunteers in town. Dad and Mom of course were invited for playing the violin and piano over at the old folks home. The BBQ was being held in the parking lot of Redi Enterprises and as we approached there was an older man walking toward his car – he appeared to be in his 70’s and looked normal in every way. Dad said hello to the man, but he didn’t respond in a way that I thought he was just ignoring us. Dad then asked the man if he worked here. The elderly man looked a little confused, said no, and then walked away. Mom and I were laughing to ourselves when Dad says, give him a few minutes; he’ll get it.
Old Age Make-Up
Anna-Maria applied some old age make-up to my face this morning. This was her first time of doing this particular kind of old age make-up and although she is confident she could do better her next time, I think she did a pretty convincing job.
The make-up took about two to two and a half hours to apply and after she had it marked for her final, I took it off (2 minutes after it was done)! Anyway my face is still a little red from the latex. I imagine Gary will be interested in trying this but I must say although it looks cool, the process of having it applied is very boring.
Calgary
I went to Medicine Hat and then Calgary on Wednesday with Anna-Maria. We went to Medicine Hat so that Anna could pick up Jakob and take him to Calgary. I needed to go to Calgary to pick up Jackie’s car while she is in California and I must say that her car is a lot nicer than mine. I also started this post about 3 hours ago but forgot about it while chatting with Mom and Dad and explaining to them how to install some stuff on their computer.
Done School
I finished my last exam yesterday. It’s nice to be done school, I now have to go out and get a job. I hate getting a job. I was hoping a job would just fall into my lap, but until that happens I suppose I’ll just lounge around here… oops I mean go out and find one.
Weekly World News: Time Traveller Update
I guess we will never know the truth about Andrew Carlssin. He has apparently disappeared!
I can’t believe I was suckered.