Here is a joke I found whilst stumbling around the Internet this morning:
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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
* a half-gallon of 2% milk,
* a carton of eggs,
* a quart of orange juice,
* a head of romaine lettuce,
* a 2 lb. can of coffee,
* and a 1 lb. package of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk man standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk man slurred, “You must be single.”
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the stranger’s intuition, since she was indeed single.
She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped him off to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?”
The drunk man touched the side of his nose twice, winked, and lisped, “‘cuz you’re ugly.”
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Happy Thanksgiving.