Categories
humor

You Know You’re Trailer Trash When Joke

Conspiracy theories aside, here is an email I got today. I realize it’s just a silly forward, but it made me laugh.

YOU KNOW YOU’RE TRAILER TRASH WHEN:

  1. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
  2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
  3. You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
  4. You think a woman who is “out of your league” bowls on a different night.
  5. Jack Daniels makes your list of “most admired people.”
  6. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
  7. Someone in your family died right after saying: “Hey watch this.”
  8. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
  9. Your wife’s hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
  10. Your junior prom had a daycare.
  11. You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are: “Gentlemen, start your engines.”
  12. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
  13. The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.
  14. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
  15. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
  16. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
  17. You can’t get married to your sweetheart because there’s a law against it.
  18. You think “loaded dishwasher” means your wife is drunk.
  19. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
  20. Your front porch collapses and kills more than five dogs.
Categories
life

Gas Conspiracy Update

The conspiracy continues. My gas tank is still three quarters full but gas dropped to 25.4 cents yesterday. On top of that Safeway gives 3.5 cents off per litre so all I can say is at least I’m happy that I don’t have to wait in line for cheap gas.

Categories
life

Gas Conspiracy

I think there is a conspiracy going on in Lethbridge. Actually I think it’s all across Southern Alberta. Every time my gas tank is full, the gas stations drop their prices. When it comes time for me to buy — they jack them up like crazy. It’s as if they actually know when I need gas and change their prices just to screw me over.

By the way, it’s Kyoto, not Keyoto. The interesting thing about Kyoto is that, from the sounds of it, you might think it’s a small town or even a medium sized city. This, however, is not the case. Kyoto is in fact a major metropolis. An easy way to remember how to spell Kyoto is to just switch the letters of Tokyo around. Kyoto means number two and I guess that was the deal — Tokyo is number one, Kyoto well it’s number two because it’s just a rearrangement of letters. Also interesting about Kyoto, I think that they sure produce a lot of poisonous gases themselves to be bossing everyone around. But thanks to Kyoto, we now have the Kyoto Accord and now everybody’s got to reduce their emissions. I wish the kid next to me in this computer lab would reduce his emissions. That’s all for me.

Categories
humor

CBC Radio

Nothing funny or amusing to report today. So instead of a funny or even slightly amusing story, I’ll relate the lame pun I heard on CBC Radio last night while driving home to lethbridge:

“[With increasing threats from George W. to Saddam Hussien Canada is left between Iraq and a hard place.]”

Yuk. Yuck.

Categories
life technology

My New Computer

Since I can’t think of anything better to post, I’ve decided to write about my new computer. I purchased a 19 inch monitor but had to take it back. The picture on it was compressed at the top. I got a new monitor — same model (NEC AccuSync 95f) and it has the same problem. Since I live in Lethbridge and the computer store is closed for Canadian Thanksgiving, I’ve decided to let my parents take it back and I will get a new one in Lethbridge.

Update: I wish I would have written the specs — I can hardly remember but I think this had a 1.2mhz AMD processor with 2GB of RAM.

Categories
life travel

Trip to Israel Journal Entry Day 2

Swimming was good except for the fact that I hit my head on the side of the pool. I have a big scrape on my forehead now. Everyone is asking what happened.

The food at our hotel was excellent. The breakfast they had was an “all you can eat” buffet. I went away stuffed.

Jeff at the airport

The flight to New York took about an hour. We had to wait another hour for people from New York to board the plane. Some of them have long curly sideburn things on their faces. I asked the person beside me, Jesee, why they have those things (I knew it must be something religious). He answered, “I don’t know, but they sure are cool!” I thought that was pretty funny. Sitting in New York is very boring. On the way into New York I moved to an empty window seat. I saw lots of large ships as well the shadow from our plane on the clouds below. We were really high above the clouds. The houses that I saw in New York looked pretty big and lots of them had pools and large yards, so I imagine the area near the ocean must be a really nice place to live, although as we cut closer there was a lot of litter and garbage on the fields near the airport. It seems weird that I will be leaving New York at 2:20 p.m. local time and arriving at 9:20 a.m. local time in Tel Aviv. “Ransom” will be the in-flight movie, although the flight attendant wasn’t positive.

Jack Hicken just talked to me, and he told me how he remembered my dad, “especially when he used to shoot baskets.” Jack is originally from Raymond, but now lives in Sterling.

Jeff in Israel

Categories
life travel

Trip to Israel Journal Entry Day 1

Yesterday I left home for my trip to Israel. I am very excited. Mandy picked me up around 4:30 and we arrived in Lethbridge with no problems. Mandy’s grandparents are very excited for us and have shown us video’s of Israel and have been giving lots of travelling advice. I am very excited. We will be leaving Lethbridge at noon by bus. I can’t wait.

Mandy and Jeff

I am now on the bus on my way to Calgary. I was kind of surprised at how old the adults coming on the trip are. They probably are all retired and have waited their whole lives to travel to Israel. I don’t know anyone here except for Mandy and her cousin and I don’t really know her that well. Everyone is excited. I guess the other kids don’t know each other that well either. All the boys sat at the back, the girls in the middle and all the old people up front. I think I will enjoy the plane trip a lot more than the bus ride. The bus ride is so boring. There are some girls just ahead of me telling each other how much they already miss their boyfriends and who is going out with who and other girl stuff like that.

I am now on my descent into Toronto. Nothing can be seen out the window except darkness (which isn’t very exciting). The seatbelt light is on now. Arrival in Toronto at 9:25 local eastern standard time. Toronto is HUGE.

It was very cold outside the airport waiting for our ride to our hotel. The pilot told us that it would be 6° C, but I think it was colder. Toronto seems like a nice place. When we flew in I could see lights going on far over the horizon, until the point where they were so far away they just faded off. The hotel here is very nice, and very big. My roomate Rob Goth seems like a nice guy. We watched T.V. for a while and then talked. He told me that he doesn’t really know anyone on the trip either. I am so tired right now. It is 12:48am (Toronto time) which is only 10:48pm Alberta time but I need to go to sleep, we have to get up at 7:00am tomorrow. I think I will go swimming first thing tomorrow.

Categories
friends

Skiing in the Middle of Nowhere

Created in the summer of 1996, I just discovered, “Skiing in the Middle of Nowhere” on an old hard drive.

Categories
travel

International Junior Art Camp in Japan

It’s March 6, 2012, but I’m writing this here to point out some of the oldest stuff I ever put on the web.

My “International Art Camp” trip to Japan.

Update: My brother scanned all of our family negatives including the photos I took on my trip to Japan. Here they are:

Categories
Art life travel

International Art Camp in Japan

International Art Camp logo - 1993 International Junior Art CampIn Japan - Hokkaido, Japan; August 7-13, 1993

From the program guide we received at the end of our camp:

Greetings

The 1993 International Junior Art Camp, the 7th camp since its inception in 1987, was held in Sapporo and at the Aloha Resort Tomamu in Shimakappu from August 7th through the 13th. This year 56 junior participants and 13 adult escorts from 7 countries; Canada, China, Korea, New Zealand, Singapore, Thailand, and the United States, attended the camp.

The seven-day program was designed to provide an opportunity for junior participants to experience Japanese culture. The program started with Japanese lessons and went on to contain many different activities. Additionally, the junior participants experienced a home stay with a Sapporo family and a camping trip to Tomamu, a main event of the International Junior Art Camp.

The staff was well prepared, so the unseasonably cool summer weather, and even a forecasted typhoon during the Tomamu camp, did not present major problems. It is debatable if the participants were even aware of the projected weather as they ran around the campsite and fully enjoyed the beautiful natural surroundings. Overcoming differences in cultures, languages, and customs, junior participants met new friends from different countries, and deepened their friendships during the stay in Tomamu.


Participants

Country Juniors Escorts
Canada 8 2
China 8 2
Korea 8 1
New Zealand 8 2
Singapore 8 2
Thailand 8 2
U.S.A. 8 2


Over-view of Activities


Activity Date Place Participants
Trip to Mt. Moiwa Japanese lesson Bon festival / dance lesson / Opening ceremony / Summer festival parade Aug. 7 (Sat.) Hokkaido Youth Center Downtown Sapporo Overseas juniors
City tour / Japanese cultural classes Aug. 8 (Sun.) Downtown Sapporo Hokkaido Youth Center Overseas juniors Sapporo students Volunteers
Art school Visit to a factory Aug. 9 (Mon.) Sapporo Art Park Coca-Cola Bottlers Overseas juniors Sapporo students
Meeting with host families Reception party Aug. 9 (Mon.) The Hokkaido Shimbun press Hotel Alpha Sapporo Overseas juniors Host families Escorts People involved with int'l exchanges
Homestay Aug. 9 (Mon.) ~ 10 (Tue.) Host home in and around Sapporo (Greater Sapporo Homestay Association) People involved with int'l exchanges
Camp in Tomamu Aug. 11 (Wed.) ~ 13 (Fri.) Alpha Resort Tomamu in Shimukappu Village Overseas and Hokkaido juniors


Stage Performance

Canadian Participants doing a line dance — Kelly, Kai, Jeff Milner, ... , and Julie Thompson

As a steady drizzle fell outside, a stage performance was held in the Resort Center in which junior participants from each country presented well-known songs and dances from their homeland. Participants from New Zealand presented songs and dances of the Maori; juniors from the United States sang songs in a western film style; Korean participants performed songs and dances in their traditional national costumes; Chinese juniors sang songs; Canadian participants presented cowboy dances; Thai participants danced in beautiful national costumes while holding candles; and those from Singapore presented rhythmical songs and dances. The Resort Center was filled with applause and cheers throughout the Stage Performance.


What we did!

I drove with my family to Calgary and then flew for 8 or 9 hours and landed in Tokyo. We drove to a historic city and by that point I could hardly stay awake. I had been up for over 24 hours. When we finally arrived at our hotel it was dark and I was glad to finally get some sleep. The room was very small and the window looked out into a crowded little alley. The next morning was so cool. I got up and looked around the area. Things look so different the next morning. I took some pictures and then we went touring the city. They have some weird insects there, like a really big green caterpillar. I noticed a few of these on my trip. We toured a place called Kyoto and Osaka. Then two days later we took a bus back to Tokyo and flew up to Sapporo (on the island of Hokkaido). There we meet the other participants and our translator. We stayed for a day and a night in Sapporo doing Japanese arts and crafts and stuff like origami. Then we went for a homestay (basically just to see what Japanese life is like). After two days we met together and took a train and a bus to Tommomu Resort where we camped out and made giant totem poles. (Not real ones but ones made out of huge cardboard tubes, I think the tubes were used to hold carpet at one point.) And that is about the whole trip (summed up a whole lot though).


Looking back on the 7-day Camp

Ryuichi Ito
Advisor, International Junior Art Camp
(professor, Hokkaido University of Education)

Once again the grand natural summer surroundings of Tomamu were blessed by the arrival of 300 teenage artists. This has become one of Hokkaido’s popular summer events, and during this seventh annual camp the participants once again enjoyed and participated in the creation of art. This camp provides a wonderful opportunity for kids from all over the world to come together and experience the world of art. Therefore, the theme of the camp, which changes yearly, has to be a topic which attracts and fascinates the participants.

This years’s theme was the creation of totem poles, a symbolic statue mad by American Indians to protect themselves from evils. All juniors participated in a team to produce a totem pole. They designed, roghed out, and then colored a pole of approximately 4 meters. Each totem pole represented the team’s unique characteristics. It was a wonderful experience to see the 22 tall totem poles standing together in the open spaces and blending in with the background of green mountains. I am sure that if evil spirits were watchhing they would not dare venture near.

I hope the participants will always remember this wonderful summer experience. This year’s Junior Art Camp was yet another successful and enriching experience for all of us.