Author: Jeff Milner

Categories
life Sport

2002 Swim Meet in Calgary

Jeff Milner at the U of C swimming pool.

I’m off to Calgary on Saturday, and I must admit—I’m pretty excited. I guess kayaking in the cold was a bad idea to begin with but the weather in Lethbridge has been so nice it’s hard to imagine the cold winter that Gary has described in Lethbridge. Anyway the meet is going to be a short one. I am only competing in 2 events. The nice thing is that I do get to miss some school, but really it’s New Media which I enjoy anyway so it’s a mixed blessing.

The fact that I don’t have much to write about shows how boring my life really is. I mean I could go on about how my rake sucks and my lawn looks horrible littered with leaves. Perhaps I could ramble on about the wind in Lethbridge — of course that never gets old. But instead perhaps I should just say that life is good.

I do have one thing that’s slightly interesting to tell you about. My swimming is coming along nicely. Yesterday we did a set of 75m – 75m – 100m with each 75 or 100 both done in less than 1:35. Well for those of you that are not big into swimming let me just say that doing eight of those is VERY, VERY tiring. I’m happy to say that I was able to complete them.

Categories
games Sport

Tribes and Late Meetings

I downloaded the demo for Tribes 2 on the weekend. I am completely addicted to that game. Anyway I played it all day Saturday, and a couple of rounds Sunday morning. Don’t worry though — I’ve decided for my own good to erase it, and hopefully I’ll be able to resist downloading it again.

In other news I am going to Calgary for the weekend for a swim meet. The swim team is having a mandatory meeting this Wednesday at 9pm. It kind of ticks me off that they are always having these 9pm meetings. I mean we see each other at practice and I usually don’t leave the school until after practice ends at 4:30, so to have to come all the way back at 9 just sort of bugs me. I am excited to have another meet so soon though. I hope Gary takes some good pictures too. Maybe there will be an angle where you can get some Calgary swimmer in with me and then publish the picture under the pretense of that Calgary swimmer, but I’ll actually be in the picture too. That’d be sweet.

Categories
life

Gas Conspiracy – When Will It End?

Statue of the thinker
The Thinker. Used under Flickr CCLi. Photo by Flickr User Brian Hillegas.

Stupid Gas Station dropped their prices again. I just filled up on Tuesday. What else is new?

Yesterday I had to stay home with the flu. Staying home from school and swim practice is fun, but it’s only fun if you aren’t actually sick. Being sick sucks. Glad I’m not sick anymore. Anyway I finished writing my philosophy paper this morning which is due in about 10 minutes. If you ever have the chance to not take philosophy, I say go for it.

So in conclusion, things that suck:

  • Gas Stations dropping their prices after I fill up and raising them before I fill up
  • Being sick with the flu
  • Taking Philosophy class
Categories
life Sport

U of L Swim Meet 2002 – Day 2

My swim meet was great. Aside from the power going out and delaying the meet for an hour and a half, I think it was a great day. I competed in the 50 breast and the 50 free. Breast was great — lane 4, heat 4. I was the fastest in my heat with a time around 34 seconds. In the 50 Free, I came out with a 26.4.

It snowed today which sucks, but gas prices are low and I can finally take advantage of it. With my luck prices will be back up before I get out of class and have a chance to go. That’s life I guess.

Categories
life Sport

U of L Swim Meet 2002

I just finished the first day of my first meet swimming for the U of L. I am dead tired. Today I swam the 100 Breast (1:18), 100 Free (1:01), and 50 Fly (32.5). I took a few pictures on my digital camera but I don’t think they are going to turn out to well. It’s too dark in the pool area, but if there are any worth it I may try to improve them in Photoshop.

Categories
birthday family

It’s My Sister’s Birthday

Happy Birthday Jackie! Just like that, “voila!” she’s 21!

It’s my sister, Jacqueline’s birthday today. I was going to call her, but I realized that she wasn’t going to be home so instead I just sent her and email and dedicated this post to her. That’s right Jack, this is all for you. So what I’m going to do is list some of the things I like about you, Jackie, and some of the things I don’t like.

Things I like about growing up with my kid-sister Jackie:

  • She’s always been a easy scapegoat, it’s her own fault really.
  • that time she stole a pack of hubba bubba and shared with everyone
  • all the my little ponies that she had for targets for my GI Joe
  • never complaining to mom and dad all the times that Gary and I tied her up with ropes just for the fun of it.
  • never asking me to give you my Christmas spending money so you could buy a present for me and then turn around and buy headphones for yourself.
  • also never whining about not wanting to go on the Dumbo ride at Disneyland and then monopolizing the controls.
  • someone to talk to through the vents in my ceiling.
  • always being a good sport about all the nick names you’ve been given over the years.
  • bringing over friends…(don’t ask why)
  • hmmm, I guess that’s about it.

Things I dislike about growning up with my kid-sister Jackie:

  • that time she squirted ketchup on me just to prove that she would.
  • that time she borrowed risk for her boyfriend and never returned it (still)
  • all the times that she decided she would like to play monopoly but then either quit 10 minutes into it or the equivilent by just letting us roll for her.
  • telling me that you love me when you know I am angry at you and then saying that you only said you love me to impress people at church.
Categories
humor

You Know You’re Trailer Trash When Joke

Conspiracy theories aside, here is an email I got today. I realize it’s just a silly forward, but it made me laugh.

YOU KNOW YOU’RE TRAILER TRASH WHEN:

  1. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
  2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
  3. You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
  4. You think a woman who is “out of your league” bowls on a different night.
  5. Jack Daniels makes your list of “most admired people.”
  6. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
  7. Someone in your family died right after saying: “Hey watch this.”
  8. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
  9. Your wife’s hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
  10. Your junior prom had a daycare.
  11. You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are: “Gentlemen, start your engines.”
  12. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
  13. The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.
  14. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
  15. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
  16. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
  17. You can’t get married to your sweetheart because there’s a law against it.
  18. You think “loaded dishwasher” means your wife is drunk.
  19. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
  20. Your front porch collapses and kills more than five dogs.
Categories
life

Gas Conspiracy Update

The conspiracy continues. My gas tank is still three quarters full but gas dropped to 25.4 cents yesterday. On top of that Safeway gives 3.5 cents off per litre so all I can say is at least I’m happy that I don’t have to wait in line for cheap gas.

Categories
life

Gas Conspiracy

I think there is a conspiracy going on in Lethbridge. Actually I think it’s all across Southern Alberta. Every time my gas tank is full, the gas stations drop their prices. When it comes time for me to buy — they jack them up like crazy. It’s as if they actually know when I need gas and change their prices just to screw me over.

By the way, it’s Kyoto, not Keyoto. The interesting thing about Kyoto is that, from the sounds of it, you might think it’s a small town or even a medium sized city. This, however, is not the case. Kyoto is in fact a major metropolis. An easy way to remember how to spell Kyoto is to just switch the letters of Tokyo around. Kyoto means number two and I guess that was the deal — Tokyo is number one, Kyoto well it’s number two because it’s just a rearrangement of letters. Also interesting about Kyoto, I think that they sure produce a lot of poisonous gases themselves to be bossing everyone around. But thanks to Kyoto, we now have the Kyoto Accord and now everybody’s got to reduce their emissions. I wish the kid next to me in this computer lab would reduce his emissions. That’s all for me.

Categories
humor

CBC Radio

Nothing funny or amusing to report today. So instead of a funny or even slightly amusing story, I’ll relate the lame pun I heard on CBC Radio last night while driving home to lethbridge:

“[With increasing threats from George W. to Saddam Hussien Canada is left between Iraq and a hard place.]”

Yuk. Yuck.