monologue

Laughing Wild – by Christopher Durang

Another monologue from Laughing Wild by Christopher Durang:

Man:
I used to be a very negative person. But then I took this personality workshop that totally turned my life around. Now when something bad or negative happens, I can see the positive. Now when I have a really bad day, or when someone I thought was a really good friend betrays me, or maybe when I’ve been hit by one of those damn people riding bicycles the opposite way on a one-way street, so, of course, one hadn’t looked in that direction and there they are bearing down on you, about to kill or maim you—anyway, I look at any of these things and I say to myself: this glass is not half full, it’s half empty.

No—I said it backwards, force of habit. This glass is not half empty, it is half full.

Of course, if they hit you with the stupid bicycle your glass won’t be half full or half empty, it will be shattered to pieces, and you’ll be dead or in the hospital.

But really I’m trying to be positive, that’s what I’m doing with my life these days. I was tired of not being joyful and happy, I was sick of my personality, and I had to change it.

Half full, not half empty. I had to say to myself: you do not have cancer—at least not today. You are not blind. You are not one of the starving children in India or China or in Africa. Look at the sunset, look at the sunrise, why don’t you enjoy them, for God’s sake? And now I do. Except if it’s cloudy, of course, and you can’t see the sun. Or if it’s cold. Or if it’s too hot.

I probably need to take a few more personality workshops to complete the process. It’s still not quite within my grasp, this being positive business.

But I’m making great strides my friends don’t recognize me.

And it’s hard for me to be positive because I’m very sensitive to the vibrations of people around me, or maybe I’m just paranoid.

The Bad Review Revue

The Bad Review Revue

Divergent: “Barely diverting” — Bruce Diones, The New Yorker

Sabotage: “This is the type of movie best enjoyed as a late-night indulgence on cable. Really late at night, when your eyes are still partially open, but your brain has called it quits.” — David Hiltbrand, philly.com

Need for Speed: “Need for Speed is so busy and loud that, if not watched vigilantly, it could be mistaken for something fun. But it is a shambling lemon.” — Dan Schindel, filmschoolrejects.com

Non-Stop: “The problem is that Non-Stop tries to be something it’s not. It has one too many scenes that border on ludicrous, and the big reveal barely makes sense.” — Dave McGinn, Globe and Mail

God’s Not Dead: “God may not be dead, but I’d be willing to wager this movie at least gave him a faint wave of nausea.” — Ken Hanke, Mountain Xpress

last-stop-by-justin-brown

California Adventure

It’s been over ten years since the last time I set foot in Disneyland, and I’m so excited about my trip next week that I can barely contain myself.

Disneyland won’t be the only place we’ll visit but it’s certainly the one I’m most excited about. I’ve been researching which days will be the busiest (they will all be equally busy), which rides to rush in and get fast passes for (the new Radiator Springs ride tops my list), and even which route we’ll drive when we get up early next week (it’s still up in the air between the California 91 Express and the 60) I guess I will decide based on that morning’s traffic report.

Here’s an animated gif of fireworks from the last time I was there. Back then, the closest thing my camera had to video capabilities was burst fire mode.

Animated Disneyland Fireworks

Eric Hansen in Lethbridge

Two Grandmasters in Lethbridge

If you’ve watched my one second everyday video, you know that I’ve been playing quite a bit of chess lately. I’m excited to say that the activity level at the chess club in Lethbridge has been picking up and they’ve even secured two Grandmasters for an event next weekend.

Grandmaster Eric Hansen and GM Robin van Kampen will be in Lethbridge on Sunday, March 30, from 1:00 – 4:00, at the Galt Museum.

Eric has graciously volunteered to play as many players as we can muster. We will pack the house and have 25+ adult players and 10-15 juniors play him simultaneously.

The fee to play will be $10 for adults and free for junior players. All players are welcome!

See more details on the Lethbridge Chess Club’s page.

One Second Everyday — 2013

Every day for a year I have been trying to remember to record and editing one second clips of video so that at the end of the year I could show the world what I’ve been up to for the last 365 days or so. As it turns out, I missed a couple of days close to the end and one in February but so long as that doesn’t bother you, here they are, almost every day of the year 2013 in one second increments:

One Second Everyday — October 2013

I’m disappointed in myself because my October One Second Everyday video is missing a day. On October 21st the city of Lethbridge had their by-election and I wanted to get some footage at the poll so I didn’t take any other earlier and then I was so wrapped up in who I would vote for that I ended up forgetting to take any video. Oh well, you’ll just have to imagine one second at the polls on the 21st.

Living it up in Lethbridge, AB