…And the ants are still surviving. I’m thinking about taking Anna’s shovel and digging down to the queen. I wonder if that would work. Anyone with any ideas, feel free to shout out.
Author: Jeff Milner
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Cold Weather
While I don’t usually like cold weather, it dropped below freezing here in Lethbridge last night too. It was really great for the weeding though – all my weeds just died overnight! Anna’s next-door neighbour had a particularly bad dandelion problem – they had dandelions but no grass. Now they have a front yard full of dead dandelions. It almost looks like really well groomed grass through the morning mist. They must be especially happy.
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My Visit in Medicine Hat
Anna and I both had a great time in Medicine Hat. Albeit there was a little more cake shared than I would have liked at Solange’s party I’m quickly recovering. Oops, my supper is ready so I’ll finish this post a bit later.
Update: Well I never remembered to come back to this post for a couple years, but now that I’ve noticed it, I’ll just add what happened at the party. Anna and her siblings smeared cake into the unsuspecting faces of both Gary and I. I have changed a lot and it seems like no big deal now, but it really ticked me off at the time.
(From the Los Angeles Times, 10 May 2003)
Relying on the assumption that people love freebies and can’t read foreign languages, San Bernardino County sheriff’s deputies arrested 10 wanted people by luring them to Big Bear to receive a free pair of hiking boots made by “Stockdum Scelestus” — meant to be a mix of German and Latin meaning “utterly stupid criminal.”
Update: Link removed because the L.A. Times moved it to their archive where they charge $3.95 to read it – even though you could go to the Library and read it for free.
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Jeff Milner Movie Review – Holes
Last night Mom, Dad, Anna-Maria, her sisters, and I all took in the new Disney Movie, Holes (Official Site / trailer). I didn’t love the Matrix, but I loved Holes. Let me tell you why Holes is such a great movie. First of all let me give a little background. Based on the enormously popular novel by Louis Sachar, Holes illustrates the misfortune of Stanley Yelnats IV (Shia LaBeouf) after he is sent to Camp Greenlake, a juvenille detention camp, basically because of some bad luck. It also explains the history of misfortune befallen upon the Yelnats’ family after a curse was put on Stanley Yelnats the first when he didn’t live up to a promise made to a certain European fortuneteller. This movie seems to have everything including family fortunes, family curses, a turn-of-the-century interracial romance, train robbers, buried treasure, ghosts, onions, peaches, sneakers and Texas Yellow Spotted Lizards, – then ties them all into the resolution. Despite being a movie filled with “holes”, this movie is funny and touching and more logical than you’d think possible. I recommend it even if you aren’t taking your girlfriend’s younger sisters with you.
Whoa! Last night I went to see The Matrix Reloaded (Official Site | Trailer) with Anna-Maria and some of her friends. As expected The Matrix Reloaded was filled with really long fight scenes, a bunch of bad dialogue, a boatload of amazing special effects, oh and did I mention some really long kung fu fight scenes? Overall I thought it was a cool movie but I was hoping for something more. It had the potential to go in all sorts of new directions but instead they just waste time in meaningless kung fu battles. When I say meaningless – I mean exactly that, the fight scene where Neo takes on hundreds of replicated agents ends when Neo gets bored and flys away. How stupid is that? What was the point?
In case it’s not self-evident, this movie is not for Mom and Dad. As much as I thought you might like the first one, (I don’t know what I was thinking) you will absolutely hate this movie.
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New Lawn Mower
I finally got a new lawnmower and I must say I’m really pleased. 6.25 horsepower and boy it mows like crazy! When I was out working on the yard my neighbour, Steve, came by to compliment me by telling me that in the short time I lived here I had already done more work keeping the place in shape than the six guys living there before me did in two years! I really haven’t done much but I guess something is better than nothing.
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California Oreo Lovers Rejoice
A couple of nights ago, I heard on the news that some lawyer in California was trying to get Oreo Cookies banned in California because they are too unhealthy (They contain Trans-fattie goodness badness). It looks like he’s given up. Thank goodness – nevertheless does what he say make you less likely to enjoy the tempting treat of Oreo Cookies?
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Star Wars Kid Interview on Waxy.org
The Star Wars kid has been identified… The full story here!
I found this quote and thought it’s ever so relevant during the “difficult time” the US is now going through. You know, the “situation” where there actually are no weapons of mass destruction to be found in Iraq. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I am sticking up for Saddam Hussein or his fallen regime — it’s just that the USA has certainly put its “credibility” in jeopardy. Enjoy:
A truly Canadian Apology to the USA, courtesy of comedian Colin Mochrie from This Hour Has 22 Minutes, CBC Television aired on 11 February 2003:
Hello. I’m Anthony St. George on location here in Washington.
On behalf of Canadians everywhere I’d like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven’t been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry. I’m sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron, but it wasn’t nice of us to point it out. If it’s any consolation, the fact that he’s a moron shouldn’t reflect poorly on the people of America. After all, it’s not like you actually elected him.
I’m sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you, doesn’t give us the right to sell you lumber that’s cheaper and better than your own. It would be like if, well, say you had ten times the television audeince we did and you flood our market with great shows, cheaper than we could produce. I know you’d never do that.
I’m sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defence I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours. As word of apology, please accept all of our NHL teams which, one by one, are going out of business and moving to your fine country.
I’m sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you’re going up against a crazed dictator, you want to have your friends by your side. I realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.
I’m sorry we burnt down your White House during the War of 1812. I see you’ve rebuilt it! It’s very nice.
I’m sorry for Alan Thicke, Shania Twain, Celine Dion, Loverboy, that song from Seriff that ends with a really high-pitched long note.
Your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer, but we feel your pain.
And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I’m sorry that we’re constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way which is really a thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you’re not upset over this. Because we’ve seen what you do to countries you get upset with.
For 22 minutes, I’m Anthony St. George, and I’m sorry.