Category: humor

Categories
humor pandemic

COVID-19 Risk Chart

From XKCD

First prize is a ticket to the kissing booth.

Randall Munroe runs you through risky behaviour in this handy chart that applies for both pandemic and non-pandemic risks. I’m betting that I’ll be doing in-person classes come September. The minister of Alberta Education will let us know as of August 1st — though some teachers believe the decision has already been made and they’re waiting for August to improve the optics. It’s not like it really matters what they “decide” because things will change the moment we have confirmed cases at school — at least I hope so.

As for the chart, I feel like, “Skateboarding into a mosh pit on a cruise ship” should be rated as higher risk than “Getting a Covid test from a stranger at a crowded bar” on the non-Covid risk axis.

(via Kottke)

Update: Apparently at the same time I was posting this the Alberta Government decided to make the announcement early: School is back on in September. It turns out I was right about the decision being already made and this was confirmed by a leak to the Globe and Mail.

Categories
Art humor Politics

How to more cases than anybody in the world

Categories
humor

80 Minutes of Seinfeld Bloopers

If you like Seinfeld, you may enjoy these bloopers discovered on an unmarked DVD that came inside a flea market DVD player.

From Reddit:

At the Raynham flea market 2 years ago I found a DVD with 80 minutes of previously unseen Seinfeld bloopers. These are different from the official DVD bloopers, which are already on YouTube. This DVD was in a bootleg case with a bootleg design, and a simple unvarnished disc inside. I ripped the footage from the DVD and uploaded it raw to YouTube. Forgive the video quality; the DVD has low-grade video.

The DVD was produced in 2000, which makes me think it’s a bootleg of a blooper DVD made for the cast and crew of Seinfeld in 1998 or 1999, to be shared in the days before internet. There is nothing else on the disc.

(Via BoingBoing)

Categories
humor

What It’s Like to go Viral in 2020

What does Tom want from Jerry -- a joke essay

Alexis Pereira documents going viral in his essay: My 72 Hours in a Viral Tweet Vortex. I had my viral moment back in 2006, before “going viral” was even a thing, and overall, I liked it. Then again nobody tried to have me fired — even if in his case he wasn’t actually a professor.

Here’s the tweet in question:

Categories
bad review revue

The Bad Review Revue

Downhill: “‘Downhill’ depressingly spirals in the title’s direction.” — Roger Tennis, Cinemaclips.com

The Last Full Measure: “The Last Full Measure shoots itself in the foot. It may deserve a Purple Heart for that, but nothing much more.” — Kelly Vance, East Bay Express

Created Equal: Clarence Thomas in His Own Words: “Maybe silence was better.” — Frank Scheck, Hollywood Reporter

The Song of Names: “Mainly, this movie chatters when it should sing.” — Kate Taylor, Globe and Mail

Categories
humor

Valentine’s Day Plans

It’s a few years old, but I still consider it the best tweet of the day:

(via Miss Cellania)

Categories
parody

Watch the Tesla Cybertruck go… Back to the Future

Worth it for the license plate.

(via BoingBoing)

Update: The video below is actually a little more interesting and came out a few days after the top one. It’s a “deep fake” with Robert Downey Jr. inserted as Doc and Tom Holland playing Marty.

Categories
bad review revue

The Bad Review Revue

Dolittle: “Dolittle is a not a film. Dolittle is a crime scene in need of forensic analysis. Something happened here. Something terrible. Something inexplicable.” — Scott Tobias, NPR

Like a Boss: “Like a Boss is a truly terrible movie that wastes the talents of a good cast in material that would be beneath everyone with the exception of Rob Schneider.” — Matt Brunson, Creative Loafing

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker: “It’s a shell of a film, more machine now than ever. A twisted wreck of fan service, messy assembly of conveniences, lazy echoes and callbacks crashing into an aborted conclusion.” — Blake Howard, Dark Horizons

Cats: “Seeing Jennifer Hudson’s snot continue to glisten over her lips, refusing to be wiped away, made me Google, ‘Can you lose an Oscar?'” — Jordan Calhoun, Black Nerd Problems

Underwater: “By stealing everything from Ridley Scott’s 1979 classic [Alien], this watered down rip-off brings nothing new to the table. In the ocean, no one can hear you sigh.” — Asher Luberto, culturevulture.net

Categories
humor movie

Live-Blogging The Princess Bride on First Watch

Westley and Princess Buttercup look at each other

Twitter user @uzbadyubi had never seen, “The Princess Bride” and when he finally watched it1, live-blogged the whole thing creating this riveting twitter-thread:

Following along, it’s like watching the whole movie in less than 5 minutes. Check out the thread via Threadreader or on Twitter.

(via The Loop)

1. I do wonder though, did he continually pause the movie to take and post those screenshots?

Categories
article humor war

The Case for War

Afghanistan Soldiers running

By Someone Whose Kids Won’t Die Fighting in It

McSweeney’s makes the case for war with Iran.

As one of the most important writers at one of the most important newspapers in the country, it’s my job to inform my readers why they should uncritically support the United States government’s most recent war. I understand that many of you might not want to get into another drawn out, costly conflict in the Middle East, particularly if you were one of the thousands of parents who had their kids die needlessly in the last few wars. But as someone whose kids won’t die fighting in the war, it’s important that you understand the flimsy, morally bankrupt justifications for war, and why it’s vital for you to throw more of your children’s lives at this one.

(via)