Author: Jeff Milner

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Spring Has Sprung; the Flames are Done; Where’s the Fun?

I’m in Medicine Hat for the weekend. I guess I should mention, I was totally non-plussed to see the Flames lose in game seven to The Mighty Ducks last night—’nuff said.

However, last weekend was a little more exciting. I went to visit a friend in Calgary, watched the Flames game where they actually won, and then had a job interview on Monday morning that went spectacularly well. (Some extenuating circumstances may prevent me from being available to actually take the job, but the interview was great).

For those of you that have never been in a hockey town during playoffs, let me take a moment to describe the experience. Calgary is a booming town and as such traffic has taken on a new level of horror. I understand even the life-long Calgarians, many of whom were born in traffic jams on their way to the hospital (and as such are used to bad traffic), have been complaining about how unbearable it’s gotten.

But when the hockey game starts the streets clear out. Everyone sits on the edge of their seats, glued to their TVs. At a moments notice the entire city jumps to its feet and makes a collective cheer as one of the Flames scores. Those brave few souls that venture out of their homes to refill their beverage/junk food collections will be notified of any goals via cars honking and people cheering from their homes. It can feel pretty disappointing if you happen to miss a goal, but all the same, its exciting to hear the reaction of so many people around town.

Watching the game anywhere would have been entertaining but we had a particularly fun evening lined up watching it on the roof of a building in downtown Calgary only a few blocks away from the Saddle Dome. And if all that weren’t enough, two of the people attending were also celebrating their birthdays! It was a perfect setup for a great night, so needless to say, a great time was had by all.

That was, until somebody discovered they had imbibed just a little too much wine just a couple of glasses too late.

You’re probably wondering if that someone was me, and the answer is no… luckily for me, The Universe was turning its wrath on someone else. But it meant that going down after the game to enjoy the festivities on 17th Ave (or Red Mile) was out of the question and I missed seeing the 18,000 fans stumbling into one another giving each other hugs, and spilling their drinks on each other, and telling complete strangers how much they loved each other, in celebration of the win. Instead I caught an independant private cab (what some would have described as a sketchy unmarked gypsy cab) back to the place I was staying for the night. Meanwhile my friend gripped onto the homemade puke bucket in the back seat hoping not to have to use it. Oh the adventure!

When we got to the place I quickly setup the futon for myself and was about to get her into her friends bed when I was surprised to hear her say she wanted to sleep on the futon beside me, and of course she wanted her trusty bucket nearby too. I got her all wrapped up in a blanket and pillow and laid her down to sleep.

As the moment just before I drifted off arrived; I looked over at my platonic friend and contemplated on what a fun time we’d had. The cheering as the Flames won, the yelling down from the top of the building at the happy fans as they made their way to the Red Mile and the all around unifying force that only a home town win can bring. Despite the evening being cut short, what I really liked most was how good it felt to have someone to take care of again, even if it was only for one night. It’s moments like that, where I can make someone feel just a little bit better, that make me most happy to be alive. Oh and of course the Flames winning was a nice bonus.

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Lookwell

A couple of months ago I wrote about a cancelled TV show from the 90’s called Heat Vision and Jack. For those of you that missed it before, follow the link for the torrent.

Adam West in Lookwell

Another clever show that never made it that I’d like to tell you about is Lookwell. It’s written and produced by the brilliant Conan O’brien and Robert Smigel, and stars Adam West. Lookwell is about a washed-up detective show TV star that tries to use his fake crime fighting skills to solve real crimes. It’s nice to see a situational comedy with great lines and likeable characters as opposed to the crap on TV these days.

As you are expecting, here is the YouTube link for Lookwell.

(via The Sneeze)

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Eyewitnesses to Hiroshima and Nagasaki

Four witnesses recount their harrowing experiences in Hiroshima and Nagaski in 1945 when the US began dropping the atomic bomb.

Well, it was like a white magnesium flash. I lost consciousness right after or almost at the same time I saw the flash. When I regained consciousness, I found myself in the dark. I heard my friends, Ms. Asami, crying for her mother. Soon after, I found out that we actually had been attacked. Afraid of being caught by a fire, I told Ms. Asami to run out of the building. Ms. Asami, however, just told me to leave her and to try to escape by myself because she thought that she couldn’t make it anywhere. She said she couldn’t move. I said to her that I couldn’t leave her, but she said that she couldn’t even stand up. While we were talking, the sky started to grow lighter. Then, I heard water running in the lavatory. Apparently the water pipes had exploded. So I drew water with my helmet to pour over Ms. Asami’s head again and again. She finally regained consciousness fully and went out of the building with me. We first thought to escape to the parade grounds, but we couldn’t because there was a huge sheet of fire in front of us. So instead, we squatted down in the street next to a big water pool for fighting fires, which was about the size of this table. Since Hiroshima was completely enveloped in flames, we felt terribly hot and could not breathe well at all. After a while, a whirlpool of fire approached us from the south. It was like a big tornado of fire spreading over the full width of the street.”

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The Devil’s in the Details

I came across a  BoingBoing post about the so-called Devil’s Interval, a musical form suppressed by the Church in the Middle Ages.

The post also talks about a new heavy metal documentary which ties the Devil’s Interval, a specific kind of musical interval that spans three whole tones, with the history of heavy metal.

See the BBC’s report called The Devil’s Music (with mp3 examples), and if it floats your boat, the metal history site (with documentary trailer) Metal: A Headbanger’s Journey.

Oh, and for the record, I’m pretty sure Xeni was just joking when she said, “When you play Wagner backwards, it goes, ‘I LOVE SATAN’. But nevertheless if that’s what you want to hear…

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My Playlist

  1. Adam’s Song
  2. Needle in the Hay
  3. So Alone
  4. Hurt
  5. Bullet with Butterfly Wings
  6. Bohemian Rhapsody
  7. Creep
  8. Deep
  9. Jeremy
  10. Motion Picture Soundtrack
  11. Today
  12. Suicide is Painless

I remember posting this list in 2006, I was feeling extremely down that day… I guess it was too subtle for anyone* to notice. Discovering this list again today made me wish I could go back in time and tell myself that life gets so much better. And worse. But for better or worse, life is wonderful.

*Ok, at least one person noticed. Thanks Sherri S.

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Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Adaptation

Back in 1982 a group of three kids from Mississippi began a project to recreate, shot-for-shot, Stephen Spielberg’s classic, “Raiders of the Lost Ark”. They were 12 years old when they started. It took them a little over six years to finish it, and while that alone is noteworthy, their story is now being considered to be turned into amovie with a screenplay by Dan Clowes of “Ghost World” fame. He talks about it near the end of a recent Wired News article.

The picture itself has become somewhat of an underground hit, garnering a lot of attention lately from the mainstream media. The three creators, known as the Indy guys, are now taking their show on the road. There isn’t a whole lot of the remake footage in it, but if you feel compelled, check out the trailer.

(via Pete’s Linklog)

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In Praise of Loopholes

I’m a fan of Matthew Baldwin’s Defective Yeti. Today at lunch I read some of his published work in the zine The Morning News, and I recommend you check out his short article, In Praise of Loopholes and the collaborative piece, New Fathers, Round III—they’re hilarious.

MB: One mistake I guess we’ve made is in encouraging our son to be completely fearless. My wife and I were raised in the 70’s, when Sesame Street and albums like “Free to Be You and Me” were all “rah-rah, build up your self-esteem, you can do anything, don’t be afraid!”

We’ve now passed that mentality on to our child, who now suffers from the illusion that he is bulletproof. The other day after his bath I put him on our bed to dress him in his jim-jams and then, on a lark, threw the towel over his head. He reacted by laughing, leaping to his feet, and running full-bore in a random direction. When he went over the edge of the bed he hung there for a moment, Elmer Fudd style, legs bicycling in mid-air, before hitting the ground with a heart-stopping Wa-UMP! Tears were shed, hugs were administered, bruises were admired…and then, when I put him back on the bed, he was off like a shot, looking over his shoulder like, “OK, but can you catch me NOW?”

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Spumco’s Boo Boo Runs Wild

Fans of Ren and Stimpy will probably enjoy this Yogi Bear parody by John Kricfalusi. It’s a parody of the old Hanna Barbara Ranger Smith/Yogi Bear cartoons in which Boo Boo finally snaps after years of being such a straight arrow.

Get it while it lasts because knowing YouTube, this won’t be online long, once it gets noticed.

Rated TV7, which I’m guessing means for seven year olds? Well, whatever, it aired on Adult Swim, so your mileage may vary.

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Bush Best President Since Clinton

This month’s Rolling Stone magazine reports on the United States’ worst president ever:

According to the Treasury Department, the forty-two presidents who held office between 1789 and 2000 borrowed a combined total of $1.01 trillion from foreign governments and financial institutions. But between 2001 and 2005 alone, the Bush White House borrowed $1.05 trillion, more than all of the previous presidencies combined. Having inherited the largest federal surplus in American history in 2001, he has turned it into the largest deficit ever—with an even higher deficit, $423 billion, forecast for fiscal year 2006. Yet Bush—sounding much like Herbert Hoover in 1930 predicting that “prosperity is just around the corner”—insists that he will cut federal deficits in half by 2009, and that the best way to guarantee this would be to make permanent his tax cuts, which helped cause the deficit in the first place!

Last weekend I went to Drayton Valley to celebrate Easter with my sister and her family. I car-pooled with my parents for the 6 hour drive and had a chance to talk about the American national debt problem with my dad. (It’s one of our favourite recurring topics of discussion).

I wondered what will happen to the highly dependant Canadian economy if/when the American dollar/economy collapses. Carrying the tremendous weight of almost $8.4 trillion, it seems to me only a matter of time before somebody (maybe China?) comes asking for their money back. And if it’s not the other countries that have money invested, maybe it will be a large portion of the population that come to the realization that, “hey the government can’t actually back up those bonds for my lifesavings — maybe I should try and get it now before it’s too late!”

It’s obvious that such a scenario would be catastrophic for the States, but I was curious how it would affect “The Great White North”. I’m guessing the biggest impact on the Canadian economy (other than lost money invested in the States) will be the inability to sell our products to the massive consumer giant to the south. In turn, massive layoffs; then an economic depression. Simply saying it’s going to be ugly really doesn’t approach the magnitude of hardships we’re going to be up against.

Attempting to save the world, one dictator at a time aside, the economic decisions of the United States affect everyone, and it’s something that is cause for grave concern. Luckily, China and the US are on such great terms. Oh, wait… never mind.

(Rolling Stone link via Waxy)