Categories
humor

Break a Leg

On a shoestring budget, a collection of very funny folk have created a 22-minute-long pilot episode called “Break a Leg“. It’s heavily influenced by Arrested Development and it’s funnier than (or at least as funny as) most sitcoms on TV. Look for the next episode sometime early next year.

Categories
humor video

Comedy Central Clips

iFilm has made a deal with Comedy Central and is hosting a bunch of clips from their popular shows including Daily Show and The Colbert Report. (It’s updated daily)

Categories
humor

Colbert Calls it Quits

The election results are in and Stephen Colbert is not happy.

Colbert

This is one of the funniest Colbert clips ever!

Categories
humor

William Sledd Internet Personality

William SleddI feel like I need to offer an apology for what I’m about to link to or at least some kind of explanation but all I can say is the “I found a hooker” video had me laughing out loud (perhaps partly because of the shock value).

The other videos from William Sledd’s YouTube page are also embarrassingly captivating. It’s especially good if you are a trendy teenager with an interest in fashion—for the record, if it weren’t for my sister or female friends picking out clothes for me, I’m sure that most of the time I would be a fashion disaster. (The tie in the above photo for example, looks hideous to me, but what do I know?)

Oh, and as a prediction, I have a feeling William Sledd will be showing up on mainstream TV any day now.

Categories
humor

The Extras

I laughed out loud at this hilarious scene from The Extras with guest star David Bowie.

Categories
humor

Pirate Jokes

An able-bodied seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns recounting their adventures at sea. Noting the pirate’s peg-leg, hook, and eye patch The seaman asks “So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?”

The pirate replies, “We was caught in a monster storm off the cape and a giant wave swept me overboard. Just as they were pullin’ me out a school of sharks appeared and one of ’em bit me leg off”.

“Blimey!” said the seaman. “What about the hook”?

“Ahhhh”, mused the pirate, “We were boardin’ a trader ship, pistols blastin’ and swords swingin’ this way and that. In the fracas me hand got chopped off.”

“Blimey!” remarked the seaman. “And how came ye by the eye patch?”

“A seagull droppin’ fell into me eye”, answered the pirate.

“You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?” the sailor asked incredulously.

“Well,” said the pirate, “it was me first day with the hook.”
______________________

One day, while sailing the seven seas, a look-out spotted a pirate ship, and the crew became frantic.

Captain Bravo bellowed for his red shirt. The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain’s red shirt, and, after donning the shirt, the captain led his crew into battle and defeated the pirates.

Later on, the look-out spotted not one, but two pirate ships. The captain again howled for his red shirt and once again vanquished the pirates.

That evening, all the men sat around on the deck recounting the day’s triumphs, and one of them asked the captain: “Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before each battle?”

The captain replied: “If I am wounded in the attack, my crew won’t notice my bleeding and will continue to fight, unafraid.” All of the men sat in silence and marveled at the courage of their captain.

As dawn came the next morning, the look-out spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirate ships approaching. The rank and file all stared at the captain and waited for his usual request.

Captain Bravo calmly shouted: “Bring me my brown pants!”

Categories
humor

Laughing Wild – by Christopher Durang

A monologue from Laughing Wild by Christopher Durang:

Woman: I want to talk to you about life. It’s just too difficult to be alive, isn’t it, and try to function? There are all these people to deal with. I tried to buy a can of tuna fish in the supermarket, and there was this person standing right in front of where I wanted to reach out to get the tuna fish, and I waited a while, to see if they’d move, and they didn’t—they were looking at tuna fish too, but they were taking a real long time on it, reading the ingredients on each can like they were a book, a pretty boring book if you ask me, but nobody has; so I waited a long while, and they didn’t move, and I couldn’t get to the tuna fish cans; and I thought about asking them to move, but then they seemed so stupid not to have sensed that I needed to get by them that I had this awful fear that it would do no good, no good at all, to ask them, they’d probably say something like, “We’ll move when we’re goddam ready you nagging bitch” and then what would I do? And so then I started to cry out of frustration, quietly, so as not to disturb anyone, and still, even though I was softly sobbing, this stupid person didn’t grasp that I needed to get by them, and so I reached over with my fist, and I brought it down real hard on his head and screamed: “Would you kindly move asshole!!!”

And the person fell to the ground, and looked totally startled, and some child nearby started to cry, and I was still crying, and I couldn’t imagine making use of the tuna fish now anyway, and so I shouted at the child to stop crying — I mean, it was drawing too much attention to me — and I ran out of the supermarket, and I thought, I’ll take a taxi to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, I need to be surrounded with culture right now, not tuna fish.

But you know how hard it is to hail a taxi. I waved my hand, and then this terrible man who came to the street after I was there waved his hand, and the taxi stopped for him because he saw him first, and the injustice of it made my eyes start to well with tears again. So I lost that taxi. So I raised my hand again, and the next three taxis were already full, although one of them still had his “free” light on which made me angry, because if he had had it off, I probably wouldn’t have raised my arm, which was getting tired now, I think hitting the man with the tuna fish used some muscles I wasn’t used to using. And then this other taxi started to get near, and this woman with groceries came out, and she started to hail it and I went right over to her and shouted smack into her ear: “If you take this taxi from me, I will kill you!” And she looked really started, and then the taxi stopped, and I got in, and I said, I want to go crosstown to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, I might have culture, and quiet, and things of value around me, I have had a terrible time in the supermarket. And then the taxi driver, who was Greek or Muslim or Armenian or something, said to me, I have to go downtown now, I’m about to get off work.

Well, I thought my head would explode. I mean, was his taxi available, or wasn’t it? And wasn’t it law that they can’t refuse you, even if you want to go to Staten Island? But I just couldn’t bear the thought of pressing charges against this man — it would take days and days of phone calls, and meetings, and letters, and all because he wouldn’t bring me to the goddam Metropolitan. So I sat in his taxi and I wouldn’t move. I thought for a while about going back and following through on my initial impulse to buy a can of tuna fish — tuna fish, mixed with mayonnaise, is one of the few things I can make in the kitchen — but then I realized that probably whoever was at the cash register would give me difficulties, probably because I was a woman, or because she was a woman, or maybe it was a man who hated women, or wished he was a woman — anyway it all started to seem far too complicated; so I thought, I’ll just stay in this taxi cab, and I’ll be damned if I get out. And he kept saying, “Lady, please, I have to get home to my family.” And I said “Where? In Staten Island?”

Here’s another Laughing Wild monologue for a male part.

Categories
history humor

Robert Newman History of Oil

I really liked this Google Youtube Video: Robert Newman History of oil. It hits on so many important themes and ideas in such a brilliant way that all I can say is that if you are remotely interested in world politics/economics and history, then this is required watching. It’s also quite funny.

Robert Newman History of Oil

From the description:

Robert Newman gets to grips with the wars and politics of the last hundred years—but rather than adhering to the history we were fed at school, [he] places oil centre stage as the cause of all commotion. This innovative history programme is based around Robert Newman’s stand-up act and supported by resourceful archive sequences and stills with satirical impersonations of historical figures from Mayan priests to Archduke Ferdinand. Quirky details such as a bicycle powered street lamp on the stage brings home the pertinent question of just how we are going to survive when the world’s oil supplies are finally exhausted.

I’ve come to reconsider my stance on these polished conspiracy theory videos—they are thought provoking but I believe if they are not approached with a critical eye, they can be dangerous.

Categories
humor

In Praise of Loopholes

I’m a fan of Matthew Baldwin’s Defective Yeti. Today at lunch I read some of his published work in the zine The Morning News, and I recommend you check out his short article, In Praise of Loopholes and the collaborative piece, New Fathers, Round III—they’re hilarious.

MB: One mistake I guess we’ve made is in encouraging our son to be completely fearless. My wife and I were raised in the 70’s, when Sesame Street and albums like “Free to Be You and Me” were all “rah-rah, build up your self-esteem, you can do anything, don’t be afraid!”

We’ve now passed that mentality on to our child, who now suffers from the illusion that he is bulletproof. The other day after his bath I put him on our bed to dress him in his jim-jams and then, on a lark, threw the towel over his head. He reacted by laughing, leaping to his feet, and running full-bore in a random direction. When he went over the edge of the bed he hung there for a moment, Elmer Fudd style, legs bicycling in mid-air, before hitting the ground with a heart-stopping Wa-UMP! Tears were shed, hugs were administered, bruises were admired…and then, when I put him back on the bed, he was off like a shot, looking over his shoulder like, “OK, but can you catch me NOW?”

Categories
humor

Thinking

“When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.”

-Jack Handey