A brief monologue from Laughing Wild by Christopher Durang:
Woman: I want to talk to you about life. Itâ€™s just too difficult to be alive, isnâ€™t it, and try to function? There are all these people to deal with. I tried to buy a can of tuna fish in the supermarket, and there was this person standing right in front of where I wanted to reach out to get the tuna fish, and I waited a while, to see if theyâ€™d move, and they didnâ€™tâ€”they were looking at tuna fish too, but they were taking a real long time on it, reading the ingredients on each can like they were a book, a pretty boring book if you ask me, but nobody has; so I waited a long while, and they didnâ€™t move, and I couldnâ€™t get to the tuna fish cans; and I thought about asking them to move, but then they seemed so stupid not to have sensed that I needed to get by them that I had this awful fear that it would do no good, no good at all, to ask them, theyâ€™d probably say something like, â€œWeâ€™ll move when weâ€™re goddam ready you nagging bitchâ€ and then what would I do? And so then I started to cry out of frustration, quietly, so as not to disturb anyone, and still, even though I was softly sobbing, this stupid person didnâ€™t grasp that I needed to get by them, and so I reached over with my fist, and I brought it down real hard on his head and screamed: â€œWould you kindly move asshole!!!â€
And the person fell to the ground, and looked totally startled, and some child nearby started to cry, and I was still crying, and I couldnâ€™t imagine making use of the tuna fish now anyway, and so I shouted at the child to stop cryingâ€”I mean, it was drawing too much attention to meâ€”and I ran out of the supermarket, and I thought, Iâ€™ll take a taxi to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, I need to be surrounded with culture right now, not tuna fish.